📍 📍 📍 📍 📍 📍 📍 welcome everybody to the Ask a Sex Therapist show. Uh, we have a really unique guest today and a really unique topic, so I’m very excited about it.

Um, Belle DiLorenzo is a woman’s sexual health advocate and the author of the best selling book, The Godis Method, G O H D D E S S, um, her science based approach is designed to help women master vaginal gymnastics, pelvic floor muscle exercises that enhance female pleasure and amplify orgasms. So welcome, Belle.

Thank you for being here. Thank you. Take care.

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited

I’m so excited, too. This is one where I’m like, I want to learn this stuff, too. It’s not just for my audience.

Oh, it’s it’s insane stuff. It’s it’s one of those things that We still in the in the scientific community, we know very little about and it’s almost like that’s that’s kind of why I want to keep pushing the word for because it’s it’s I want to have proper research on this. Like, my goal is to

Oh,

do a PhD specifically on this because we keep.

Learning more and more stuff about this and how these muscles work. And the, the, the, the, the easiest way that I have to describe it is we’re all born with the ability to move our ears, but because we don’t actually train that, that atrophies and we don’t actually do it. And some people can do it, but like, essentially these are muscles surrounding the vagina that we can.

Manipulate and we can control and we can do crazy things in our it’s, it’s become. It’s come to a point where my students and the people who follow us, they come up with exercises and they come back to us and they’re like, I learned how to do this. You guys should try this new thing. And it’s just, these people are just way better at it than I am at this point.

They’re amazing. It’s, it’s.

sign of a good teacher. If your students are then kind of like leading the way,

have way surpassed their master. Anyway, they’re amazing, incredible,

So we started talking before I hit record. And that’s why I was like, we have to hit record now. Um, about like, I, I really don’t know much about this. You know, I’m always looking for guys who like come to me with a unique topic. And I had kind of said, I’m like the only person I’ve heard about like talking about vaginal weightlifting or any kind of exercise like that is Kim and Nami.

And you were saying that like your method is like pretty different. So can you tell us just a little bit about like, what does this entail?

I think a really good way to think about the difference between what Kimonami does and what we do is, um, Kimonami really focuses on strength and that’s what we do. Wonderful. The strength of your pelvic floor. And that’s great for urinary incontinence is great for organ prolapse. It’s really great for for sexual health.

Um, we what we call vaginal gymnastics is really mastering all the different regions of the vagina so that you can do different skills. So, whereas Kim and I mean, my might help you focus on contracting and relaxing and really being very strong. Um, we focus on doing like. Crazy moves with the vagina, essentially.

And so we teach you how to twist and whip and suck and pulls and massage and do all of these crazy things. But ultimately what’s going on here is we’re just teaching you how to isolate and control the different sides of the muscles that surround the vagina. And therefore, once you have that control, you’re able to move them in, in, in a bunch of unique ways.

Um, just like you would move your hand or the muscles around your mouth. You can move your mouth to say many different words, but they’re, they’re The same muscles surrounding your mouth. And so

a great point. That’s a good analogy

the reason why I started using this analogies, the door key as reason I’m the last person who should own a sex company, by the way, but because I’m, I’m a, I’m a major nerd, but I started playing the trumpet.

we like sex nerds here. That’s how

I love, I love sex nerds and it just so happens that our students, they’re all really good sex nerds. I’m like, great. Yeah, this is my, this is my tribe. So I started playing the trumpet and I started realizing when you, when you play the trumpet, it’s not that you’re, um, doing, you’re not making sounds so, so that you can create the different notes.

Positioning your mouth in a different way so that more or less air comes out and therefore creating a different notes. So, essentially, without playing a single valve of the trumpet, you should be able to blow in a way that you make all the different notes. And then you start learning about the different muscles that surround the mouth.

There are some muscles that are in charge of smiling and a different set of muscles completely that are in charge of fake smiling. So, so it’s like, Oh my God, like the, the, the complexity of this muscles. And it’s kind of the same as the complexity of the muscles that surround the vagina. So because the vagina is an orifice, we don’t just have the different levels of depth of the muscle, not just the muscles that surround the entrance, the middle where the G spot is or the top near the cervix.

We have the right side, we have the left side, we have the front side, we have the back side. So as you control these different regions or zones, we kind of, we kind of divided into 12 unique zones of pleasure or zones of movement. And essentially our students learn how to control each zone, how to squeeze and contract and release and, and do different and direct different movements of each of these zones.

So they can ultimately like build their own orgasm kind of, kind of thing.

Hello, sign me up.

It’s, it’s, it’s crazy stuff and we keep learning about it every time because it’s just, it’s complete muscle control. Uh, that’s, that’s kind of what we teach. And so, yeah.

like a pretty unique work that you do in the world. Um, can you tell us a little bit, like, I did read your story a little bit, but for everyone listening, like, how did you get into this work?

Well, it comes back to me very much being a nerd because I, again, as you, as you learn more about my story, I am the last person who should own a sex company. Um, I.

A lot of people who wind up in this field are kind of nerdy. I do.

love it. I love that. So I, I was, I was raised in a very like Christian family. I’m Argentinian. So we’re very, I like to call us hippie Christians because we’re the kind of Christians that are like, you know, God put weed in the world that we could smoke it. That’s the kind of, that’s the kind of Christian mentality that we have here in

not very conservative.

very conservative, but it’s, it’s, you know, it’s, it’s, we’re very, very much people of faith, but, uh, yeah. We believe that enjoyment is a product of God. So that’s kind of the way that we think about it. Um, but my parents were very much a little bit more on the conservative side to a certain extent, definitely to the extent that they never spoke to me about sex.

And so I was very much a late bloomer when it came to sex. And this is not, not, not because of my parents at all, but because I was very much a straight A student, overachiever, nerd, like not many friends. So while all my friends were having sex in high school and in college, I was sort of like, I was obsessed with the concept of sex.

And so I would research about sex because in my mind, when the time comes, I’m going to be great at it. So it’s the, it’s the dorkiest way to think about sex, but that was very much how I thought about sex.

I relate. Yeah.

So I would give like my friend’s advice, you know, guys, try this stuff. And like, apparently if you do this thing when you’re blowing him, that’s, that’s great.

And so, and they would come back to me and they would act like my guinea pigs. It was

you kind of became like

We take the advisor who never had who had never seen a man naked. It was

Yeah.

So, so throughout that time, I had heard of this thing called and this, this, this, this name kept coming back to me and it was this sort of story or legend of women throughout history who were able to control.

control their vaginal muscles to absolutely take control over men and like have men wrapped around their fingers and how Cleopatra used this on Julius Caesar and that’s how he was so enamored with her and that led to the siege of Alexandria like all of this and I’m a yes and I’m a history geek as well so.

As you can imagine, I was like, I’m fascinated with this. So you would learn about all these women from history who were supposedly this vaginal magician, witches. And he was incredible. And I’m like, Oh, this is what I want to learn when I grew up. Anyway, many, many, many, many, many years went on. I was still a virgin.

And then I talk about two relationships. I’m a very much a serial monogamous. And I was in two relationships, one of which the only great thing about it was the sex. And then the second one, which was. A really, really healthy relationship, uh, where the only thing lacking was sex and, um, it was a missed in the middle of the pandemic.

We were together and we were just like many couples can relate to we became sort of like roommates. We were supposed to be having all, I thought we would be having all this sex. You know, we’re, we’re locked up in this tiny apartment. There’s nothing to do. Um, what else are we going to do?

But it wasn’t happening. Um, and there are many reasons for it. He, he had his own trauma when it comes to sex, which is something that as a society, we don’t really talk about men having trauma with, with sex where it’s like, this can happen to,

Oh yeah, they have plenty. Yeah.

Um, and so I was like, okay, So that’s when I started becoming, uh, I’m very much a fixer.

So I was like, okay, well, what can I do so that this works? Because like it or not, like we’re here for the, at least for the first eight months in this one in the studio apartment. So let’s see. Let’s see what we can do. Um, and so that’s when I started learning again about this pompoir practice.

mm hmm.

bought a book, I remember, and the book was very like, again, it taught you about like this women who could do this, but it didn’t give you exact instructions as to how.

And I kept, kept reading and reading and reading. And at that point I was really fascinated with, um, fitness and body weight training and like creating my own exercises and creating my own workout and, you know, uh, just calisthenics, all that stuff. And I’m like, well. These muscles of the vagina, they, they probably aren’t as different as any other muscles in our bodies, right?

Because we don’t just train our glutes with squats. We do squats and hip thrusts and lunges and glute bridges and step ups and all of these things, because all of these exercises target different regions of the

Mm hmm.

what if I start learning about how these muscles work? And so I started learning and teaching myself about the sort of the movement and the biomechanics of the pelvic floor.

And I started reading all the research that was done in pelvic floor training because for, for the little amount of research that we have on women’s health, which we should definitely

my god It’s it’s horrible. We’re starting to improve but it’s just abysmal.

yes, yes. And the U. S. is a big proponent of that. Most of the research that I’ve found comes from the U.

S., which is fantastic. Um, so I found that all of the research that I did find on pelvic floor training, to the most beginner friendly degree, just contractions and really easy Kegel stuff,

Mm

is overwhelmingly positive. Like, You have systematic reviews, you have randomized control trials

Mm hmm

on every single research.

At least 1 variable of sex becomes better after training. So, whether it’s libido, desire, confidence, pleasure, orgasms, orgasm frequency, there’s a, there’s a, um, there’s a review where, you know, Um, pelvic floor, the pelvic floor strength and dexterity is so tied to, um, to, to having more sex that it’s predictive of sexual frequency.

So the women who had the strongest pelvic floors, it was, it was, it was so tight, the correlation that they were like, it’s predicted that they’re going to be having more sex. And that’s crazy with a really small P value. Like it was insane, the amount of research that we had on this. And I’m like. Well, why isn’t this, why aren’t we all doing this if this is supposedly so great and at the same time we’re seeing this huge orgasm gap and this huge difference in this amount of women?

How is it that it’s not recommended to all of us that we do in this? How, how are we not all vaginal gymnasts at this point?

These are good questions, and I’m glad that someone out there is asking them, because, you know, I, I have gone to pelvic floor physical therapy. I partially did it because I had a little slight pain during sex, and partially I felt like it was good research for work.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

but you learn about, like, how pelvic floor is also connected to, like, all the other muscles in the body, and how, like, I, I, I was told I have a very strong pelvic floor, I’m not someone who maybe needs to do Kegels, but it was like, oh, there’s a little imbalance, though, between like the left side and the right side, like, or there could be sort of like a, what are those, where you have like a painful spot, you know, and you’re getting a massage.

Yeah. Or you have it locked up or you have a bit of a,

like a knot. It’s not, there’s a word for it. I feel like it begins with a T. Anyways, um, if you’re at home, maybe you can think of it for me. Um, but yeah, so there’s actually a lot to it. And I think what you’re seeing, like there’s several different muscles. And I think we just go about our lives being so unaware.

But like, this is part of the body that you live in all day, every day.

Especially when it’s so tied to, to sexuality where it sometimes feels like, Um, maybe, maybe not for our generation, or maybe, maybe depends on, on, on the court of people that you ask. But some women feel so, um, disempowered in this stuff. It’s like, well, I never enjoyed sex. And, you know, penetration is just not for me.

And, and we kind of raised the, the clitoris flag. And it’s like, it’s all about the clitoris. It’s all about the clitoris. And the clitoris is fantastic. Don’t get me wrong. Like, it’s, it’s a, it’s insane. Penetration is actually supposed to be enjoyable. You’re supposed to enjoy your vagina. It’s fucking beautiful.

Sorry. Can I say, can I curse here?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. This is an explicit podcast. If we weren’t clear

That’s why we have podcasts.

Yeah. This is an 18 plus podcast

So we’re supposed to enjoy this. It’s not just supposed to be something that you play with. Cruise through until you can, you know, I just wish you would go down on me. And that’s all I care about. Like you’re supposed to actually really enjoy sex and it’s the, in your body is there to serve you.

Yeah.

when I started, so I started basically designing a training because the things that I would read about where, you know, women could twist their partners and I was obsessed with this twisting twist, there’s

That’s hard to imagine.

that’s, that’s, there’s no way, right?

Like, there’s no way I was

That’s how it feels to me.

It’s impossible. And so I was like, well, how would I go about it? So I started kind of putting together my own training and the way that I was doing it is I was basing myself off of the workouts I did for other parts of my body. So I was like, okay, well, I need to make sure that I’m not over training.

Just like you were talking about. You maybe had a hyperactive pelvic floor. I tend to I am prone to hyperactivity as well. Generally type a people

Yes. We carry all the tension everywhere.

in the pelvic floor. Very, very common. So I was making sure that I was releasing and relaxing properly.

I was making sure that I was taking proper rest. I was making sure that I was connecting with my breathing. And then I was like, okay, well, what are the different sort of. Planes of movement of the vagina. So I was like, well, I can, I can contract vertically and I can go up and down, you know, if you inhale and you exhale and you, and you try to hold in your pee and you do that movement, you’re lifting up and then I can relax. Okay. That’s a vertical access

Mm-Hmm?

but then there should be a way for me to close the vagina and to narrow the vaginal canal and to close it.

How would that. Look like, how would, squeezing feel like, and, and I started thinking about, there’s this really nice analogy that I like, which is imagine that you’re trying to pick up a marble ball with your vagina. You would 1st, sort of grip it and then lift it up. Well, that grip in motion, that 1st force.

Flex or, or, or squeeze, that’s what we call closing the vagina or squeezing the vagina and then you lift up and you do a contraction or a kegel, but they’re completely different

Mm-Hmm?

And so, once you understand that, that difference, which tends to be sort of the Eureka moment of vaginal gymnastics, it means that you’re able to do 2 things.

You’re 1st, able to contract and you’re able to, um, Essentially, shorten the vaginal canal and you’re then able to squeeze and essentially narrow the vaginal canal. And so I started training both movements in isolation, and I started getting stronger at each of them because giggling or contracting are is much more intuitive because we do it more more often in our day to day lives, but squeezing or gripping feels a lot more subtle.

And so as I continue getting stronger and I was playing around with doing it, you know, slowly doing sort of tempo training, doing, doing it more fast, um, maybe I doing isometric contractions where I would contract and hold the contraction for a little bit and then really slowly on the eccentric doing taking all of the concepts that I know from fitness and applying them basically to the vagina.

And then I started trying it out in the bedroom.

Okay.

that’s when things took a 180 degree turn for us as a couple. And that’s when the pandemic became what I wanted the pandemic to become. And I felt really, really lucky. Um, And that’s when things completely changed for us. We were, we were having sex a lot more often.

We were both. very aroused. He was very unhelpful though, because I was like, well, what do you feel? Where do you feel this? Is this like squeezing or contract? He’s like, it all feels great, baby. It all feels great. Just keep going. Come on, man. I’m trying to have research sex right now. This is important.

you’re like, I need data

I need data points.

Yes. How am I building the right program? If you don’t tell me where you feel it. So he was trying to be as helpful as possible. Um, but when my students asked me, what’s the best way to tell. Generally, your own two fingers are going to be your best friends because your partner is going to love every single thing you do.

And of course, there are some moves that are going to absolutely that he’s going to be like, what are you doing to me, woman? This is

Wow.

twisting. Um, but, but essentially he’s just. Because he’s just going to love it all, you’re, you’re, you want to, if you want to be very granular about your training, you want to use your own, your own two fingers to kind of learn.

And so I kept learning more exercise and designing more exercises and trying them out. And he was like, Oh, this feels much different than this. And it feels amazing when we do it in this position. And this feels great, really close to orgasm. And this feels great to get things going if you want to ramp things up.

And then, and then for me, Oh, this feels really good near my cervix. And that. Before it used to be kind of painful and now it feels very pleasurable. And so what started happening was like, I started having like really weird. Sort of orgasms like, um, what tends to happen when you start training pompoir or vaginal gymnastics, which are two terms for the same thing is your arousal loop becomes a lot faster.

So, essentially, the oxytocin release your heart racing, everything becomes everything happens faster because you’re essentially becoming more effective at drawing blood to your genital region.

yes.

sometimes we would be just kissing and suddenly I’d suddenly climax and he was like, what’s going on? It is the weirdest, weirdest thing, weirdest thing, but we keep noticing this in our, in our informal or informal research with our students, this keeps coming up time and time again.

I keep orgasming much faster. There’s a lot. I’m having multiple orgasms now. What is going on? And this is stuff that we clinically don’t know why it’s happening yet. That’s why I really want to push for more

You need like a university to like work with your company.

that’s the plan. That’s in the works. That’s what I really want to

cool. Okay.

that’s my ultimate goal.

I want to, I want to understand why it’s happening. Right.

Right.

And so, and, and the greatest thing was that, um, when we started doing this, he was the one who said, well, you need to teach this stuff, like, Because imagine, you know, he was actually who pushed me to do this and he and he said, well, you need to teach this stuff because imagine, you know, we’re just started dating.

But like, imagine a couple who’s been together for years and maybe the spark is gone on in their marriage. Maybe they want

work with. That’s like everyone that I work with. Yeah.

And I thought, wow, that is that’s yeah, let’s, let’s, let’s start it out. So I, I went to a forum where women were women had the same questions that I had. Hey, I’m reading about all these women throughout time and Cleopatra and hell of Troy, who were supposedly able to do this, but nobody’s teaching me how.

So I went there. I messaged people there and I’m like, hey, I think I devised a program for this. Let’s, do you want me to coach you? So I just started coaching women. And then those women started getting results and they started telling more women and

Oh, cool.

So we had an entire year where I had to hire other coaches to keep coaching women.

And then we started realizing every time I brought, I really like animations and design and illustration. So every time I drew a picture of what was going on inside of them, they would get a concept or an exercise. That much faster because these are muscles that you can’t easily see. It’s not like your bicep that you can see what’s going on.

It’s all happening inside of you. So it’s like, well, what if I create a course like a self guided course where people can just look at animations of what’s going on inside of them? So that’s what ended up being the Olympus program, which is our main program

Oh, cool.

and it’s all animated. And my biggest thing was, I wanted it to make it a thing where, you know, if a woman is training and her little kid walks into the room, he’s not traumatized for life.

Like, it’s just, it just looks like colorful images flowing in and out, and it doesn’t look like anything pornographic because I think that’s, that’s something that we’re where I think the sex industry might be missing. Uh, some people because, you know, we want to help all people and and some people are a little bit intimidated when they see something a little bit too out there because I was thinking, you know, my mom would never train, you know, looking at a woman completely naked and showing, you know, that’s

Yeah. Okay.

her.

So I’m like, well, how can I make this very user friendly?

Like a nice, beautiful animation with colors and it can still be very educational. It can still understand what’s going on. So that was sort of how, how the course was created. And then at the beginning of this year, I released a book on

Oh, cool.

And I think it was November 1st, we became number one in the U. S. for

Congratulations.

which was great. And it was, it was, it was number one for like a day. So I took a bunch of pictures and then it came back, it came down to number two. And I’m like, it doesn’t matter. I just, I was number one, so I need to take all the pictures now.

Um, so yeah, so that’s, that’s, that’s the story in, in so many words.

that’s really cool how it just kind of like grew organically on its own And I think it’s just speaking to the idea that like we’re hungry for this information, you know And like as i’ve gotten in this field I’ve kind of felt this like anger at like why are we not taught more about our body? Like how is this even a debate in our country of like do we educate people about sex?

It’s like You So we’re just going to tell them about the other parts of their body. They’re going to understand how their elbows and fingers work and muscles and bones, but we’re just going to skip clitoris and vagina and penis and erectile tissue and blood flow and nerve and all that. We’ll just skip the stuff that actually feels good and is connective.

Okay,

when sex has so many health benefits, like, like orgasming has so many, like, even if you want to look at it from the very scientific, you know, well, well being angle, sex, it has so many benefits. So I’m like, we should be like, this should be part of, of, of education. Yeah,

It, it shouldn’t. I think that like, I, I think part of why I do this work is because, um, it was so negative growing up and I’m, I’m someone who’s, you know, kind of OCD and sort of like, oh no, this, all these bad things could happen with sex and, you know, You know, they said I’m going to be a sinner and then I’ll be slut shamed and then I’m going to, I’m going to get diseases and I’m going to get pregnant and I’m going to ruin my life.

And then when I first started kind of getting into this work professionally, I looked up the health benefits of sex and orgasm and I was like, this is like so good for

It’s so good for you.

Like your lymphatic system, your blood flow, your endorphins, like, you know, It’s crazy, you know, and so I think that like, I’m glad when you were describing your program, it made me think about You know, like I did like a short high intensity interval workout this morning and just how my body feels.

And I woke up feeling, I have some like autoimmune digestive stuff, but I woke up feeling kind of achy. I did that trampoline thing for 10 minutes, high intensity. And I was like, Oh my God, I feel so much better. It was just like all the lymph and all the blood flow. And what you’re describing is like doing that for your vagina.

And it’s like, we have this idea that it’s like, let’s just ignore it, and like, only use it when we need it, and, you know, some, a lot of people I work with have low desire, there’s like this kind of neglect almost going on with this part of our body, and it is a use it or lose it, it is sort of like,

absolutely.

so

the sire is such

about this.

Desire is such a wonderful thing. Like, a lot of women come to us before they’re ready to try, um, testosterone therapy, um, so that they can get back their libido because a lot of women, this is, this is one of, this is super sad, but a lot of women are like, I, I used to really like this.

I used to, you know, notice men in the street or, or maybe notice my husband and, and this is not happening for me anymore. So when they come to us, I’m like, you know what? Let’s, you know, I can work with your doctor. Let’s speak with your doctor because, you know, you might be a candidate for testosterone therapy.

That’s, that’s fine. Let’s try this first, just in case. And let’s see how this goes. And the time and time again, this comes back, libido is one of the things that almost, it’s almost the fastest benefit you get from this

Oh cool

it makes me think like, I don’t want to put my tinfoil hat on, but I’m like, well, so many women, so many women are, you know, are ready to have like, Vaginoplasties and all of this tightening laser surgeries and all these things, some, some of which are not FDA approved.

And I’m like, you can just exercise this. Wait a second. You can, you don’t have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars. You can like, you can actually train with your body. And, and that makes me really sad because it feels like we’re in this. Culture of, like, the quick fix or the quick expensive fix and a lot of the things we have a lot more control over our bodies that some companies may want us to believe sometimes.

Um, and I really, I, I think that is the best definition of the world. And the word empowerment is your body is there to serve you. And the female anatomy is just absolutely insane. And it’s there for you to have pleasure. Um, so, yeah. It’s a very positive thing. I really love it.

Yeah, I’m obviously very excited about it. Um, I would love to hear more. So like,

please.

I have never had an orgasm just from penetration. Like combo of like clitoral stimulation, you know, and I can have multiple orgasms, and yeah, I’ve recently learned about squirting, but like it’s It’s something that, you know, we’re kind of told, and I don’t think there’s like, personally, I don’t feel like there’s like a good orgasm or bad orgasm.

It’s like, they’re all, they’re all good, I think.

sure.

Um, but I am curious about how does this help with orgasming during penetration? Because I, I get that question a lot from people too. Um, and it’s like, well, I, what I’ve been told is it kind of depends on your anatomy and depends how close like your clitoris is to your vagina, vaginal opening and you know, you have to get in the right position and do like the right angle, but which really is then just stimulating the clitoris, you know, through like coital alignment technique or something like that.

So yeah. So what are your thoughts on that?

love this question because that’s 1 of the biggest things that women come to us for. And I love it because that’s, that’s, that’s the best, the best benefit of this. I like

Okay.

um, some experts believe that the G spot is actually just the, the, the back head off the clitoris. So, the way that they’re connected, you’re essentially, it’s essentially that you’re stimulating the same thing, just in different parts of it.

Um, so, where the, where the clitoris kind of meets, um, which is really interesting to me. Um, But essentially what these teaches you how to do is the way that people take this approach is they use it in the way that best fits them. So, for example, we, we talk about 3 vertical levels of the vagina, the entrance, the

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

And so we teach women how to control each of them through the difference of front and back and levels of depth and et cetera and side to side. And then they will, as they go through all the array of different exercises, each woman finds the exercises that she enjoys the most. And so, generally speaking, um, when it comes to orgasm, generally, in very general terms, the exercises that target the middle of the middle of the vagina, the center

Mm hmm.

Especially the back and forth of the, the squeezing with the front wall and the back. Well, what we call the sagittal plane of the vagina. Those exercises are fantastic for stimulating the G spot. Now, every woman’s G spot might be located in a different area, but essentially. You, a lot of women use pompoir or vaginal gymnastics without a partner or with the same sex partner.

It doesn’t really matter because even as you’re going solo, you can start doing the exercises without even touching yourself nose, clitoris stimulation, and you can come back. Just like that, because

Oh my goodness.

rubbing your walls against your most pleasurable, your most erogenous zones, which some women might really like the middle.

Some women might really like the top and pulsing at the top. Some women might really like sucking at the entrance. It very much yours. That’s why I talk about building your own orgasm because for example, um, you know how sometimes sex will feel really good. The penetration will feel really good at the very beginning when it, when it just that first sort of thrust can feel really like, Oh my God, like you’re being light,

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

I always talk about, that is what sex is. It’s like throughout when you have a trained vagina, because you’re essentially building all of this texture inside of you. And it’s almost like their pleasure receptors inside of you. So everything feels enhanced and then when you add to that, and that’s just by default, just by virtue of the fact that you’ve been training throughout the week, but then when you start doing the exercises, you will choose which exercises fit best with each position.

If you’re, you know, Spooning and you really like when you do the whip when you’re spooning, that’s going to get you to orgasm faster. If you really like when in really deep penetration, really sucking near the cervix, that’s going to get you to orgasm faster by essentially, it’s not just that you start orgasming from penetration.

You start orgasming from penetration in different sides of your vagina. Um, it’s just very

Okay you can tell, you can pinpoint like, oh this was like a cervical wand, or this was the left wall of the vagina, or this was, okay,

yes. Yes. It’s, it’s, it’s, that’s, that’s why I wanted to be researched because we are, we are, it’s like we’re flabbergasted. We, we don’t, it’s, it’s, we still don’t understand scientifically

don’t teach, I mean, they don’t teach any of this in, you know, sex therapy school.

But Heather, not even to doctors, because I work with doctors to put this program together and pelvic floor physicians, specific pelvic floor physicians. And they were like, well, I guess technically it makes sense that you would be able to, because there are muscles there. But it’s not like we. Learn this in school.

We don’t learn this in medical school. We’re on it. So because it because we never saw like a purpose to learn it,

Right, because it’s just women’s pleasure.

just women’s pleasure.

Yeah, oh my goodness.

Yeah, yeah, it’s, um,

That’s wild. So that’s really cool though that you’ve worked with like doctors and pelvic floor physical therapists to create it and it is really interesting that like even those of us in the field with way more training than the average person have not been taught this stuff, you know.

So it’s really, it’s really cutting edge what you’re doing.

I am so excited. That’s why I want the medical community involved, because there are way smarter people than me that can actually design this research accurately. And we can actually prove how it’s how it’s not. And why? Why does it happen?

So, do you think, do you think that this, um, pompoir or vaginal gymnastics, like, works for everybody who has a vagina?

So everyone who has a vagina and a vulva so far, we’ve been able to help, um, no matter what you identify as, no matter, even some women have had a hysterectomy and that’s something that they’re, Oh, do you think that’s going to help me if I don’t have a uterus anymore? Yes, yes, yes, yes. In

Okay.

a lot of women with hysterectomies, um, they are, they, they are often recommended that they do Kegels so that they can support their pelvic floors because sometimes afterwards they get a little bit weaker, but it’s really easy to regain that strength.

Um, and we’ve had women who’ve had. Multiple, uh, you know, vaginal birth women who are we have this woman. I always talk about this woman in her. I think it’s she’s 78, I think, and she’s in a just in a home and she is one of our best students. The woman

Oh my god.

havoc and like, it’s it’s Caligula in that nursing home.

This woman has tried every exercise with every man there and she is. She is, she’s my OG grandma. I love

my god. I love it too.

Amazing. I really want to have like a, like an interview with her so that she

maybe you should. Yeah.

the best. She’s the best.

And I think that does speak to like, let’s not neglect ourselves as we get older. You know, it’s like your sexual energy. I say this a lot, but like your sexual energy is your life force energy. And I think what you’re describing with these exercises, it’s like just squeezing in different ways, just bringing more awareness, just like bringing some movement.

And it’s like, I think it’s like active self love. It’s sort of like, I’m going to care for this part of my body too. And It’s like that alone might just awaken, it’s like, ooh, the sexual energy is waking up, you know?

it’s crazy how people will use it in what I love most about this training because I honestly feel like I was a vessel I found about this I put it together and then and then I I gave it to to to women I coach it. But women really made it their own. So we have some women who are like, we have some women in a very extreme situations of like, you know, I, I was victim of abuse,

Mm hmm.

was.

After that sex was, you know, felt really, really uncomfortable to me because I

Mm hmm.

you know, it felt very, very uncomfortable. And this sort of gave me sort of power of like, Oh, I can do this. And I can, you know, and, and she gets, you know, and she loves, especially positions where like she can get on top and like start shimmying and squeezing and doing all these things to, to men.

And she feels very powerful. And then you have women who are like, you know, I wasn’t, I, I, I’m a very, you know, Uh, high achiever woman and always feel like I’m in my masculine sort of energy at work, and then I can come back home and kind of do this and feel very feminine. And so I’m like, wow, these women have completely different experiences with the same with the same sort of training.

And, um, and a lot of women, this woman specifically from the 78 year old woman, she is, she’s. Fantastic. But what she was telling me is that when she was younger, she had a very high libido and she loved that part of herself. And that was something that she wasn’t ready to give up. And regardless of age, she was like, I, I want to be that confident, you know, sexual being again.

And now, and now she’s doing it. She’s going, she’s, she’s, she’s our most dedicated student. This woman

And I feel like I don’t know her, but I love her now,

insane. Oh, oh, I wish everyone could meet her. She’s, she’s my favorite. My favorite people. Yeah. Favorite person.

But I mean, okay, so one question I have about this is like you’re kind of doing your like, you know, vaginal workout for the day or whatever. Um, then let’s say you’re either, you know, masturbating or you’re with a partner and being sexual. Like, do you have to be really conscious of it? Like, do you have to think like, oh, squeeze here, squeeze here, now do this?

Or is it just like once you’ve done it for a while, it becomes automatic?

It’s almost like, so at the very beginning, you might, when you want to test out a new skill, you might want to be very conscious of it. At the beginning, you might be like, especially when generally, when we test out a new skill that you say that you’ve been learning how to twist, which again, to talk about twisting a little bit, sometimes people are like, Oh, twisting is that painful?

It’s not. It’s almost like when you’re, um, when you’re giving a hand job and you’re sort of stimulating your partner in a circular motion, it’s like a turning sort of motion with your muscles and you do it to one side and the other. It feels really, really good. Um, especially in, in some, in some positions, especially if you’re standing up, if you’re on top, those are great.

Really just excruciating really, really good. And so, um, say that you’ve learned twisting throughout this week and you really feel like you’ve mastered it. Um, you might want to be a little bit more conscious in the beginning and like, be in positions where you’re really like stable. So maybe you’re in missionary where you don’t, you’re not really moving that much and you want to try that out or you’re against a wall and you have your hands pressed against the wall and you can, you have a lot of support.

Maybe that at the beginning, but then there are two things that happen because you are training throughout the week, your vagina by default, not doing any exercise like we talked about before by default is going to feel a lot better. Just penetration and sex overall is going to feel better just because you are quote unquote tighter, but especially much more sensitive because you’ve developed the muscles at the entrance, the middle and the top.

Every, every part, every ridge, every, every texture of your vaginal canal has felt, feels more enhanced every, every feeling, feel every rubbing motion feels

I wonder if it’s creating more nerve endings. Like, I feel like it has to be.

Yes, that’s what I want. That’s kind of what I want to, to,

Like you need the

that’s the hypothesis that I have. Absolutely. And that’s what I really want to prove.

Um, so that’s what’s happening because everything feels really enhanced. So even if you’re not doing anything, and then you can, and then because you have sort of an array of skin. developed is really easy to just be like oh, I you know, it’s almost like your body developed this Pavlovian connection of like well, I’m on all fours and I always love sucking which is another exercise when I’m on all fours because it feels really deep and you start and your body just starts doing it.

It’s almost like couples build their own choreography of moves. Um, yes. And then when you and then if you, you know, if you break up with someone and you start with and you become with someone else. Well, first of all, what will happen is your ex will not stop calling you. But the second thing that will happen, I always have to preface that.

I,

that you’re partnered with.

I always have to preface that. Um, I always tell women, we were huge on TikTok for some reason. So I always tell women do not use this on a man that you don’t really, really like, because trust me, this guy will not stop calling you. This guy will not stop calling you. So just do it. Just be with great power comes great responsibility.

Just

I think that’s worth stating.

Yes. Yes. If it’s a one night stand and you’re like, Oh, whatever. This guy’s all right. Be very careful, be very, very careful. Um, so that’s one of the things I always say. And then if you, if you, you know, if you happen to, for whatever reason, break up with someone and you’re with someone new, just because of your anatomy and the way that your bodies work together, you might like very different exercises in certain positions with this new person.

Um, so it’s just very, just very fun in terms of experimentation. Um, yeah.

I love that. Would you be able to like, walk us through an exercise that we could like try?

Ooh, okay. So let’s, let’s go back to what we, let’s talk about whipping or maybe milking or whipping. Let’s talk about milking, because this is a very easy one that I think everyone can get really instant gratification from. So milking is essentially, we’re going to be doing a Kegel throughout its full range of motion.

And this is what, what, what I, what I mean with that. So I want you to inhale through your nose and as you exhale, I want you to lift with your pelvic floor muscles. Imagine that you’re, that you’re trying to prevent urine. You’re trying to hold in your pee. You can’t get to a bathroom. And as you do that, you’re going to feel that you’re pulling in, right?

And then I want you to relax again. Exactly. And then relax again. Now, think about that same motion, but I want you to do it extremely slowly all the way to the top. And the way that, and what I want you to think about is, think about three different levels of depth. Think about pulling as you’re pulling at the beginning of your vagina.

Pulling as you go through the middle. And pulling as you go through the top and when you get to the top, you might feel some resistance. Almost like it’s, it’s your cervix. You’ve hit, you know, you’ve hit a wall and then I want you to slowly relax back down again, going through each level, but very, very, very slowly being very conscious of each level.

Now, what we tend to do is we tend to do this motion. We do it. I generally we do it 10 times and 3 sets of 10, 10 times of this. And when you get to the top, I want you to hold for 3 seconds. All was breathing normally, and then. Relax slowly. Now, I want your listeners to just do, you know, do try to do 10 repetitions of this, you know, lifting all the way to the top, very slowly being mindful of these 3 levels, then holding 3 seconds at the top, then really slowly relaxing down again.

Thinking about, you know, level three at the top, level two at the middle, level one at the

Okay. It’s like a little elevator

Exactly. Exactly. You’re taking a marble ball all the way up and then you’re releasing. Okay. So do that 10 times and do three sets. Do it just three times this week. Just three times. Don’t do anything more than that.

Uh, and I want you to try to, to make sure that you relax after you do the three sets. Make sure you relax. You can adopt some yoga positions like a yogi squat, or um, you can do the Sphinx. This is just to relax your pelvic floor, because this is actual training. Especially if you don’t do any training, this is

Mm

to be enough.

And then try it out in the bedroom. But I want you to try it in a very, what you might think is a counterintuitive way. So, when you’re, if you have a male partner, or if you’re using your fingers, or if you have a female partner and she’s inserting something or her fingers inside of you, try to I want you to relax as your partner penetrates you.

And I want you to then contract and lift as they pull out of you. Why? It feels counterintuitive because you’re like, well, it’s going in. I should contract, right? No, no, no, no. Do the opposite. And this opposing forces techniques, what is what we call it? We, we call it. we’re going to be doing two things.

First of all, what you’re doing is when you’re relaxing, you’re essentially, you’re essentially releasing the full display of your vagina. You’re, you’re releasing down and you’re letting your muscles kind of show off. And because you’re going, you’re, they’re getting stronger throughout the week. You’re going to have more texture to you.

So it’s, so your partner is going to be working against some resistance. So him. Him penetrating you or her penetrating you, it’s going to feel really, really intense, much more intense than normal. So that’s the first thing you’re going to be releasing. But then when you contract, as they pull out of you, you’re essentially, it’s almost like you’re not allowing them to let go.

So you’re holding on to them for dear life and you’re not allowing them to let go. And they’re going to have a really hard time. And you’re just creating that really good friction between your two genitals. And that. That has that has the effect of ramping hit up really quickly. Once you start doing that, like, sex is going to become really, really intense because he’s if you have a male partner, he’s gonna just go crazy.

He’s gonna be like, okay, let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go. So it tends to have that effect. But that’s that’s that that opposing forces technique that is basically. Always providing resistance and that really creates a lot of heat between the 2 and then psychologically what this does, especially to a man.

And if you’re doing this on all 4s, make sure that he’s staring down because I don’t think there’s any like, I’ve I’ve I’ve quizzed men on this. I’ve asked men. I pulled men of this and they’re like. There’s nothing hotter than if I’m, if I’m, you know, from having sex with her on all fours. And I’m and I’m seeing her vagina hold on to me as I’m trying to pull out.

Like, I don’t think there’s a better, better site than that. Like, like, you’re, you’re, you’re psychologically that, Kills them like they’re like

see that making them feel like very wanted,

oh my god. Oh, no. No, they’re like, this is great. This is this is ridiculously hot. Like this woman is not letting me go. And then to the like, women will take this to crazy, crazy levels.

There’s an exercise called the locking. Where you, it’s a bit of an intermediate slash advanced exercise where we teach you how to close the sides, close the, close the front and the back at the three levels of depth, and as you close everything, you then lift up and essentially when you get really strong, you prevent your men from, from being able to pull out

That’s crazy. Okay.

super vagina. It’s,

Oh my God.

stuff.

So my, because I tend to be tense, my concern would be like, am I going to overstrengthen and just be like seized up down there? So like you mentioned the yogi squat, um, and that’s something I do a couple of times a day anyways. But what other ways are there to kind of like release so

Love that love that. I love that. So that’s something that I wanted to be extremely careful of when I create the program, because I, I am, I’m, I, I tend to I’m, I’m hyperactive. I’m, I’m, you know, it’s very easy for me to, to, to get a hypertonic public

hmm.

Um, basically, there are 3 main components that we want to look at.

We want to look at rest. We want to look at stretching and we want to look at breathing. So, the way that we try to, we need to be very mindful of breathing form when it comes to our vaginal gymnastics. And I said, as an example, here, I told you to always contract when you’re exhaling and relax. When you’re inhaling and the reason for this is we want to move our pelvic floor diaphragm along our, our thoracic diaphragm.

So, we want those to be in unison because our core is comprised of our ab muscles, our lower back, our public floor and our diaphragm and all of those work together to sort of stabilize us and their reactive muscles and their grade that we keep our balance. So, we want all those muscles to work together.

Now, if it feels like too much too complex at the beginning, it might feel a little again, counterintuitive at the beginning to relax. When you’re inhaling and to contract or squeeze when you’re exhaling, but then it becomes really second nature. And even if that’s, even if that feels like a little bit too much coordination, the most important thing is to never hold your breath during this practice.

And that’s something that a lot of people will tend to do is like, oh, as I’m doing all of this, I’m focusing on this that I, that I’m just holding my breath. That is a big no. That is the main thing that you’d want to avoid is never hold your breath. If you take anything from, from adequate breathing form, it’s just don’t hold your breath.

Just breathe in and out super gently through your nose, that is the main thing. You don’t need to coordinate, but the main thing you want to be doing is just don’t hold your breath ever. Just relax. In and out of your nose, like smelling a

good advice. Yeah.

thing you want to do is after each practice and our workouts are typically 15 to 20 minutes long.

And then we dedicate 10 minutes. And those are essential to just stretching the pelvic floor. And the way that we stretch again, you have the Yogi squat, you got, you have child’s child’s pose, happy baby pose. There are multiple poses that you can do to just completely stretch out your pelvic floor. Relax, take some deep breaths and just make sure that you’re not holding on to any contraction because the last thing you want is to cramp your muscles and because a cramp and locked up muscle, it can be painful, but it also doesn’t do its job correctly because.

If your muscle is locked up, it’s not even performing well in terms of like holding your pelvic organs together. So you want to be always very mindful of relaxation. And once I started taking stretching as seriously as I took my training, that’s when I was like, Oh, this is great. I never had a problem after that because that was a big thing.

That was a big thing. When I started training, I became so obsessed that I had a cramp for like a week. And I’m like this, and it was very painful. And that’s when I was like, okay, I need to talk to someone. I started talking to public floor physicians and I’m like, how can I, how can I change my own training?

And that’s when I started incorporating all of that before, before

love that. Um, okay. We do have to wrap it up, but I want people to be able to find you. And I know you also have a special offer for

Yes.

So can you tell us all about that?

Absolutely. So you can both get, you can get both the book or the program at https://www.gohddess.com/ remember it’s with an H after the O, because,

And we’ll link to it in the show notes. Yeah.

absolutely. And you can use the code, uh, heathershannon, so you can get a 25 percent discount on the program, on the community. We’re about to release. So, absolutely.

Because we keep learning new exercises, and we keep we have such a huge community that bring us back new exercises. We test them out. We roll them out and we keep adding new lessons every single month. Actually, at the beginning of the year, I’m releasing an entire new course for really advanced students who want to do something like.

Ringing, for example, which is twisting the top to one side and the bottom to the other side, like really complex stuff. Yeah. And that’s coming on and it’s completely free for everyone who’s already on the program and all the rollouts will be. Yeah. I want it to be like a hub where you pay once and you get updates

Love that, that’s amazing.

Yes. And so, yeah, get the code and, and, and take advantage of it because it’s, it’s crazy stuff. And,

I can tell you, and you have like a great energy. I’m like, something is working in your life. So yeah, I’m, I’m sold.

I’m having a good time. No, but all, all the women are fantastic. Like it’s such a beautiful community. It’s so supportive and everyone’s like, Oh, you got this and you have, and you can try this and this, and this, just, these women are, these women are goddesses. Like, I don’t have another word for it. It’s incredible.

It’s such

I love that. Well, thank you so much for being here. I love all the sex nerd energy. I love that you like are introducing this concept to people. And yeah, if you’re, if you’re curious, go check it out. I will be, I’ll report back in

Oh my God. Yes.

Um,

I’m so excited to have you a part of it. I really want you to be a

thank you.

Heather. Oh,

Yeah. And thank you for being here, Bel

and thanks everyone for listening. We’ll catch you next week. Bye.

Bye bye.

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