This is the Ask a Sex Therapist podcast, helping you change the way you look at sex. I’m Heather Shannon, and in a world full of sexual censorship, I’ll give you the raw truth about pleasure, intimacy in your relationships, and enjoying your body. Because it’s time for you to Ask a Sex Therapist. Hey everybody, I’m here with Sarah.

Susan Bratton, my buddy, and intimacy expert to millions. So I’m very excited to pick her brain, but we were just chit chatting before recording and she wants to pick my brain first. I’m going to allow it. What do you got, Susan?

I love that. I’m like, girl, I got questions for you. So, um. You are an actual sex therapist and yes, I am an author and publisher of passionate lovemaking techniques bedroom communication skills and Essentially sexual wellness everything from oh fuck.

I got herpes to right. What should I do for? Contraceptives to my equipment is broken. How do I fix it? You know all that stuff. I just wanted to get a sense of kind of the therapist chair zeitgeist. Please. You talk to people all over the place and things have changed since you started your practice and I wanted to know what are the concerns, what are these kind of like big cluster bombs of concerns that your clients are coming to you for support?

Yeah, um, so I’ve recently kind of narrowed my focus in who I’m serving to people in committed relationships who have lost the spark and want to get it back, but Yeah. Yeah. So that, that’s been kind of the most common one where it’s like, no matter what I say, I specialize in, like, people will come for that regularly.

And then, um, I would say for sure performance anxiety, regardless of gender. I swear that might be the biggest thing of all. It’s a huge one, you know? It’s underrated as a major issue for people. It is and it manifests in different ways, you know, so it could be erectile dysfunction or difficulty orgasming, but it could also just be, you know, like thinking orgasm and like, feeling like you have to perform and not feeling authentic and, you know, not loving sex that much because of it, which is important.

So that went a lot. And then communication. I mean, 100 percent communication. Um. People, I, and I find it fascinating, like people will get naked and like put their parts in each other on each other, but we don’t want to talk about it. That’s not saying

anything.

Yeah. Right, right. So I was like, that’s so interesting.

It’s like so much physical intimacy, but. Un,

You know, I have a silly little phrase that I use. I say, one of the things that I do is I transform friction into connection.

And

when you’re talking about God, they’re rubbing their parts together, but not talking that’s friction. That’s just rubbing two genitals together to get a spark.

To get off, you know, to have a momentary release rather than the connection of intimacy. And, um, one of the, one of the little e books that I wrote is a book called Dirty Talk and I hate the title because I don’t like that. I don’t like dirty. Because dirty is a shame based phrase.

Yes, I’ve reclaimed it.

I know.

I sometimes think, I like reclamations, but I, but I also like new vocabulary, or ancient vocabulary. For example, one of the phrases that I, one of the words that I like for are female, female urogenitals. system, which I am really into is a, I love anatomy. I think it’s endlessly fascinating. And it’s the physiologics of our anatomy unlocks so much pleasure.

Once we understand their simple mechanisms like blood flow, literal erection and gorgeous, like if there’s one word on my tombstone, it’s engorgement. You know, getting women. to get the blood flow to their genitals, to get their lady boners, to feel the pleasure that our male body partners are getting in like two minutes that take us 20 or 30.

We never get there because they’re already done and eating a sandwich. So I like the word yoni for the female genital system because in my mind, And it’s like a blossoming lotus flower, Y O N I, yoni, Sanskrit word for the female genital system. But it holds so much more meaning, like the spiritual connection, the embodiment of pleasure.

It’s all the parts. It’s the clitoral, urethral, perineal structures. It’s the outer labia, the inner labia, the vaginal canal, the cervical area, the perineal area, the foreshad, the mons, the groin, the belly, the ass. Like to me, that’s a Yoni. That’s like all that voluptuous tissue inside and out is the Yoni.

And so if someone says vulva, I’m like. Well, that’s the face of the, that’s the face of the genital system. Well, how about vagina? Well, that’s just the balloon inside. Uh, that’s, you know, like, how about the clitoris? I’m like, well, the clitoris is one of the three rectal tissue structures. So technically that’s not comprehensive.

And so, so I’m like, fuck it. Yoni it is.

I’m

just

going to teach everybody

that word.

Yeah, I agree with you because you’re right. It’s like if we use one of the other words, we’re actually like leaving so much out. So just for like purposes of accuracy, it just feels inaccurate. I agree with you about that.

And then

the man cannon is the lingam. And I like to think about the lingam as the penis. The glands, the foreskin, the, you know, the shaft, the buried shaft, the testicles and scrotum, the perineum, the prostate, the rectum, the anus, like that’s all the men’s equipment. And I forgot the anus and the rectum for the woman too, because, um, I’m 62 and I have just discovered that anal sex, when you’re with someone who knows what they are doing, which I am now, I’m like, Oh my God!

That feels so good! Oh! That’s the sound good anal sex makes, you know? 62! It took me this many years. I am just getting started. I feel like a teenager, you know? I’m just getting started. I mean, and I know we’ve never met before, but I do love you already. I love you already too. That’s the beauty of social media.

You

do get a good sense of a person, you know? You do. And I mean, I think when I first came across your account, I was kind of like, Ooh, sexual biohacking. That’s so cool. Cause like, you know, I did like a health coach certification and I went down the whole like epigenetic rabbit hole and I love my red light therapy and all the things, but I hadn’t really seen them like paired together very much.

And so I was like, Ooh, this is good and important. And then I was also like, I love that you are. You know, forward with your sexuality and like posting sexy pics and that you’re just kind of like, I’m just going to keep getting sexier as I get older. And but then also like, really owning your intelligence.

And, and I think that like, there’s an important message there because. I noticed that because it’s not super common, you know, that it’s like, you’re like, I’m not going to be one piece of myself. I’m not going to be like objectified in that way. I’m going to be all the pieces of myself and I’m going to put that out there.

And so I’m kind of curious, like, how did you get to that point? Because that’s not an easy point to get to. That’s not the default of society.

I think it’s

all my

husband’s fault. He is very encouraging. I love that. That man lives to serve the goddess. He is. Absolutely delighted and thrilled with my intellect, my sexiness, my sensuality.

He is the wind beneath my wings. He is the one who has encouraged me for 30 years to play fa, full out, just full out. Um, and, and I think that’s, that’s really what it is. I mean, I’ve always had a fair amount of confidence because my mother. Raised me to be as confident a woman as she possibly could because she was not confident, nor did she have the support for that.

You know, I mean, she, she grew up in the 40s and 50s and 60s. I grew up in the 60s, 70s and 80s. And so I had a generational benefit of growing up in a post pill feminist. And the 70s were a very, very big era for feminism and sexual self expression. It was interesting, I was watching, um, I was watching The Business of Birth Control.

Ricky Lake produced that. And, have you seen that movie, The Business of Birth Control? It’s a documentary. I haven’t. Super good. It’s on Netflix. Okay. Highly recommended. And, they were talking about, Obviously, it’s about how bad birth, how bad the pill is for us, especially for some women. It causes blood clots and death and all kinds of things.

And I’ve always been a proponent of the non medicated and the fertility awareness method, which really should just be called when you’re ovulating and can get and can get pregnant predictor. You know, like fertility awareness, like only fertility matters matters. We’re not having sex except to procreate.

We have to call this the fertility awareness method. Cause we’re steeped in religious shame. You know? I mean, that’s very true.

Yeah.

But, um, it was so interesting because they had old video in this documentary about the seventies. And how women were, you know, it was the era of our bodies ourselves. And, um, we were taking our taking control of our sexuality.

We finally had a form of birth control. We could rely on back then. We didn’t know how bad it was going to be for us. And, um. That that then in the 80s, women were, they weren’t going to the gynecologist, they were becoming gynecologists and they were very career oriented. And I was like, oh, shit, that’s exact.

That’s like, literally, that is exactly what happened. That was so well put. And now there is back to the womb movement with like, yeah. The, the, um, the 5th, um, what’s it called the 5th vital sign, which is our period and, you know, women are, are taking workshops now where they’re, you know, doing their own sexual embodiment and we’re looking at alternatives to the pill and realizing it’s It’s dangerous, though now it’s getting past that the pill is, you know, cause, cause pharmaceutical companies are like, Oh, we’re not selling as much of this shit as we used to.

We got to start getting government to pay for it for poor people. And that’s suppressing. I mean, there’s this whole story about in that, in that movement about, you know, how women of color have been, their births have been suppressed by things like planned parenthood basically kicked Margaret Sanger out of there.

History, because she was a big eugenics person. She wanted to make the pills so there wouldn’t be more black people. And Planned Parenthood was like, we gotta, we gotta own this shit and like, distance ourself from that now, you know, so there’s just a lot of, I had a mom who said to me, you’re smart, you’re beautiful.

Don’t let anyone tell you any different. You live your life. Full out to your highest. And then when I married my husband, one of the things I liked about him was that he didn’t, he, he not only didn’t mind my ambition, he loved my ambition. He loved that about me. And so I think those are some of the reasons why I’ve been able to have the confidence to put super sexy pictures on Instagram when I’m 62 years old and have an only fans and be like, fuck.

Yeah, I do. You know, like

when you look amazing.

Why would I want to be an expert who isn’t sexy? Like you got to write the talk. I’m the real deal. I’m having hot. Fucking sex right now, like if I wasn’t, I should not be doing what I’m doing, which is teaching people how to transform having sex into making love.

Right. Right. I

definitely would like to be you when I grow up. And you can. Thank you. But it’s interesting what you’re saying because, you know, coming from the therapy background, I very much, I mean, there’s. these parameters and these paradigms, you know, of like, you’re a blank slate. And it’s kind of like, you’re not a person when you’re a therapist, you know, and like, you’re not supposed to really infuse your personality and you’re not really supposed to share too much about yourself.

And then, I mean, and this is a very good rule, but it’s like, do not have sex with your clients. Obviously, but then it also kind of gets to a point where it’s like, don’t be sexual. Don’t look too attractive. Don’t, you know, where it, it really feels like this, um, small box that you can wind up being in. Even like what you share on social media, even me having my podcast and like sharing some personal things on the podcast.

Um, so yes, I’m kind of working through that now. I work more as a coach now, partially because I’m not super into diagnosing and you know, I’m. I don’t know if I ever 100 percent fit like in the therapist box. So, um, you know, I’m working through that though. And like even being sexy, because I would see some sex therapists who would be super sexual online.

And I was like, Oh my God, but what if their clients see them? Is that appropriate? Are they gonna get sent to the ethics board and blah, blah, blah. So it’s like, that’s the paradigm. And so it’s really like fun and helpful and interesting for me to see people coming from a different paradigm and to really pick and choose now that I’m working more as a coach, like how, you know, what paradigm do I want?

You know, how do I want to show up?

Yes, and you’re always evolving and you’re always growing into who you are inside. You’re always loving more of yourselves and, and showing those. One of the most beautiful things about maturation is the blossoming of oneself through our age. And I think there are people who have this.

Ageist belief where it’s like, well, by the time I’m 40 or by the time I’m 50 or by the time I’m 60 or whatever, not me, man. I’m 60 and I’m planning to live to 110, 120. So I am just middle aged right now. That’s true.

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, that is interesting that you bring that up. Can we talk a little bit about like age and sexuality?

Because this is, this is like a passion area for me a little bit. I have some strong feelings. Um, Also, I, I think there’s so much value, especially placed on women and like youthfulness and it’s, it’s been interesting for me hearing some entrepreneur guys that I’m friends with being like, oh, I’m dating someone this much younger, that much younger, just like makes my blood boil a little bit.

And I think it’s interesting to notice. There’s also, of course, People were, you know, women are dating younger men or, you know, people of any gender can date whoever they want of any age, you know, but, um, and I understand that sometimes there’s just a genuine connection regardless of age. And we shouldn’t be limited by that.

But I do think that trend or that it’s almost like it’s prized somehow. And it feels like men are looking to that for like, validation maybe, or I don’t know what it is, but I’m curious, like, what is your take on that? And. Also, how do we get people to keep having sex as they get older? Because so many people just stop.

Yeah. It makes me sad.

One is that, um, men of all ages are attracted to 20 year old women. Yes. Women tend to date more in their age group, but that’s actually changing now as women’s income parity is rising. They are choosing to also date younger men. Yeah. Um, so the, the, the playing field is tipping a bit with income parity, but the reason that men are driven to date 20 year olds, even when they’re wrinkly old motherfuckers is that is saggy ass dude with a 20 year old and that’s It’s partly been an income issue for the female world, but because they, they don’t make, they weren’t making the money that men were, so they relied on that income.

That makes sense. That was helpful for them. Right. But the other thing is that it’s, it’s fecundity. It’s, it’s the idea that the reason that we like youthfulness is because we are drawn to want to pass on our genes. And it’s that simple. It’s like, he can’t get a wrinkly old lady pregnant to pass on his genes, but his body can get a 20 year old pregnant to pass on his genes.

And whether he’s even aware of that or not, that plays a lot into it.

Okay,

that makes sense. I still don’t

like it.

Well, the only way to combat it is to have a lot of hot young lovers.

I’m working on it. Um, but I do think like, so what do you, what would you say to women though, who are kind of like, you know, Oh, I just don’t feel very attractive or, you know.

we’re all older than we used to be. Our bodies obviously do change. So like, how do you still show up as like your sexiest self and feel confident knowing that there’s some of that biology that’s like wired into people?

There’s a couple of things. One is that I think generally, uh, women have had, have received such shitty sex from men that they’re like, why bother?

Because we have been having sex. It’s under a patriarchal religious. Uh, when we see sex, it’s either on TV, which is the shittiest sex I’ve ever seen, or pornography, which is the only shittier sex than the sex on TV. It’s like anti female. It’s like, we’re just cum buckets for pounding penises, you know, it’s just like, are you shitting me?

There’s no goddess worship, there’s no yoni massage, there’s no sensual pleasuring. We even have this Stupid paradigm that is foreplay and sex that comes from that religious oppression, which is None of that shit counts all that stuff that gives us our lady boner that takes us 20 minutes So we actually have good orgasms.

Yes, that’s just what I have to do and get out of the way So I can stick my dick in and come and hope you come and be done and go have a sandwich. And that is, not that I, not that I don’t make my men their sandwiches.

Right, the sandwich thing is cracking me up. I really, I know, I know, I know.

I really do believe in feed them and fuck them.

Right. I mean, or we’ll fuck him first and then feed him. I think that is what makes men happy. That’s what makes me happy too. Okay. I like to come and come and come and come and come and come and come and come and have incredibly hot sex with my partner and then make a nice meal. Yeah. I enjoy the cooking because the nutrition is what keeps me young.

The cooking, the working out, the, all the things I do for my longevity and the great sex because. 100

percent the great sex.

Sex span is like one of my newest things actually. So sex span is what I’ve been in, been talking about lately and now I’m talking about hot span. I read this article of this woman, I forget where I even read it and she, she said, you know, old young people aren’t having sex anymore.

But old people are having sex and they’re trying to stay hot. And I was like, they really are. There’s a lot of us old hot pieces of ass out there. And I think it is when, you know, the studies show that if you have intimate pleasure three times a week, it extends your longevity by a decade. What? And you physically look.

10 years younger, Susan,

you’re going to start a revolution just by quoting that. I know. I hope you do.

And the, the thing about it is that if you look at longevity, there are four indicators of longevity in the Dunedin PACE report, which is the longest predictor of longevity study that has been done. And the four quadrants are, do you look?

younger than your cohorts, which sex makes you look younger than your cohorts. How’s your grip strength? How’s your balance? And how’s your cognitive function? If you’ve got, if you’ve got grip strength, it’s indicative of overall body strength, right? And I think these are. Sex adds to all these things, but for most women in their forties and fifties, for most women in their fifties.

So when women are in their forties, there’s still a lot of women who are like, I’m holding out hope that I can still have some good sex. I think it might be possible. A lot of women in their fifties who are in long term marriages are like, I just don’t want to do it anymore. Like, can’t I get out of it now?

Like I’ve been fucking that. guy for a couple of decades. I hardly ever come. He drives me crazy. He’s a pain in my ass. I’m sick of his whiny, grumpy bullshit. He’s scratchy. I don’t want it anymore. How do I get out of it? You know, and he wants to go to therapy and she’s like, go to therapy. And then there’s all those women who are getting divorced, getting rid of those husbands that gave them all that shitty sex.

It’s not all the guy’s fault either. I want to come back and clean that up. I’m just making some big broad brush, you know, kinds of things. But, um, cause I really, men really do want to do a good job. They just don’t get any training. We don’t, it’s the blind leading the blind in the bedroom. Right? Right. Yep, it is.

So there are women in their 50s who are like, whoa, I’m getting out of my marriage. I’m going to go play around and I’m going to have a bunch of lesbian relationships now. So there’s a huge upswing of later lesbian, late to lesbianism, which is quite a big cohort now. But then there are people who are like, we just want to keep.

We just want to keep our sex life good. They’re coming to you and they’re like, how do we re spark our marriage? What do we do to get back how we used to feel? And I think there are a lot of people in that particular category and they are lucky because when two people. Have the intention and desire to have a great sex life.

Oh my God, that’s the easiest thing in the world. Like you’re stealing their money, Heather.

That’s okay. I’m okay with it.

No, but you’re, you’re right. Like, those are my dream clients. You know, it’s like, they’re still going to have to do some work, but it’s like, if they’re both in it, like you will. Get to that end goal, you know, yeah, it is. It’s really fun for me. Like I have some clients like that now and I’m like, you guys are just a fricking delight.

It’s like they’ve been to therapy before they have some of the skills and I’m like, you guys don’t even realize like how well this is going to go. So, um, it’s never too late to

have a total renaissance in your sex life in your relationship. Never. too late. There is no use it or lose it. That’s what a lot of my sexual biohacking conversations are about.

I just got back from Amsterdam. I was a speaker on sexual biohacking at the biohacker summit. Their theme for the summit was consciousness, which fits perfectly into my like style of sex, which is heart connected, conscious. It’s lovemaking. That’s what I like. You want it. You’re present. You’re a yes.

You’re willing to be vulnerable. You’re willing to learn skills. You’re willing to open your heart. It’s not the friction. It’s the connection. It’s the pleasure. It’s the co creation. It’s the melding of your bodies together and just like losing yourselves in each other. And the consciousness theme was so good.

And I talked a lot about sexual biohacking, which is. kind of think about it two ways. I kind of think there’s like this divide where part of it is, if I think about intimate wellness as a landscape, there’s like three kind of parts to that. One is the STIs, contraception, things like that. The, what do I do if I get a yeast infection or UTI, you know, those, those things, how will sex ever be the same after a hysterectomy, that stuff.

Yeah, your physical body. Yeah. Then there’s the second leg, which is, Ooh, my stuff is broken! Can I fix it? So that’s the femi wave and gains wave, the penis pumps, the, the PRP, the stem cells, the exosomes taking nitric oxide, boosters, you know, the, the kind of like rejuvenation, re stimulating new growth, reversing atrophy, incontinence, sensation loss, you know, that.

That piece of things, um, which is like anti aging,

right? That’s the thing. It’s like when you’re taking care of your overall body, it’s good for your sex life. And when you’re prioritizing your sex life, it’s good for your body. It’s like very symbiotic,

two sides of the same coin. When people are like, I have libido issues, I’m like, well, what are your health issues?

Because if you have libido issues, it’s your health. Inflammation. that’s the same side of the other coin, the same, the other side of the same coin. Um, yeah. And then the third leg of the stool is really what I think about as sexual biohacking, which is more like enhancement. So everything, you got everything fixed and it’s working.

How do you take it to the next level? Let’s talk about that. I want to know. So there’s kind of two things. One of them is stuff like. O Shots. I’ve had six or seven O Shots into my clitoris of PRP, platelet rich plasma. I’ve gotten past the reversing atrophy, and now my clitor I have a giant clit. A big, fatty clit boner.

And I’ve used a vacuum erection device, a vulva pump for it. a clitoral pump for it. I’ve drawn blood into that tissue. I’ve done all the PRP and those kinds of things. And that gives me even more orgasmic pleasure. And then, and then we do this with the penis too, you know, the PRP, the exosomes, the stem cells and male enhancement, which is Penis pumping, vacuum erection device, using a vacuum erection device to not only reverse the atrophy, but to make yourself 20 or 25 percent bigger.

You’re five, you want to be six inches. You’re six, you want to be seven inches. You want a bigger girth, get a bigger girth. So I’ve written a book on

that. Yeah. You posted about this on threads and I was like, Susan, I heard that penis pumps don’t work. What’s happening? And then I did download your book and started reading it.

And it sounded like it was very like, you have to do a specific protocol. Um, but like you’re saying it legitimately works. Legitimately works. I’ve

helped thousands of men. Okay. Reverse atrophy and increase the size of their penises and it feels good. And sometimes they really get hooked on it and they just keep going and going for years and they go from like five or six inches to eight or nine inches and really get big penises.

The penis is a very good tissue structure for enlargement, natural enlargement using vacuum erection devices. So I wrote a book called the pumping guide at pumping guide. com that lays the protocol out because the people who have tried pumping and went, ah, it doesn’t work. They literally just didn’t know what to do.

And they didn’t use the right size cylinder for the size and goals of their penis. They didn’t have a lot of the features that are required. So I partner with the Dr. Joel Kaplan company. And that’s the pump that I recommend and there’s a link to it in the guide. There’s a penile stretcher or an extender.

There’s red light therapy wrap for the penis. There’s, you know, it’s just like this whole little stack of things that increases your length and girth.

And is it doing it just through like blood vessels? Like it’s creating more blood flow and like more, is that basically what’s happening? That’s the start of it.

Essentially what happens

is, you know, The penis itself, there’s the skin and then there’s that almost like silver membrane called the tunica albuginia, very similar to the membrane that you’d cut off a beef tenderloin. It’s the same thing. It’s a, it’s a structure of tissue that holds in the three erectile tissue.

fingers that are inside the penis, which are called the corpus, corpus cavernosum and corpus spongiosum. The spongiosum is very similar to our G spot, our urethral sponge. It’s, it’s the tube of tissue surrounding the ureter. So we both have that. Their, theirs is in the penis in, ours goes up inside to our bladder.

And so that spongy tissue, when you, when you put it into a vacuum tube and you draw the blood in, the blood expands. that tunic albuginia and stretches it a bit and when you bring in that blood, the blood has the oxygenation and the healing factors. So when you’re stretching everything a little bit at a time and this is the thing with pumping guys will hurt themselves by trying to be like, I’ll just turn it up to 1111 and see how fast I can do it.

And that makes it that they can wound themselves. They can get. They can get tissue malfunctions, all bruising, all kinds of things. So you have to follow the protocol. And when you do that, you do tiny little bits of micro damage as you’re expanding and kind of tractioning that tissue. And when you bring that blood in, that blood immediately starts to do reparations on that.

enlargement. And that grows new tissue. It grows new capillaries. When it grows new capillaries, more nerve can be innervated into the edges of the penis. So it improves sensation because old guys get sensation loss. So to old gals, we get sensation loss. And so the, the, the vacuum device with the blood flow lets it Reenervate because, you know, when people have diabetes and they have neuropathies and they have like swelling of their ankles or they lose their limbs from diabetes, it’s it’s from the retraction of the blood vessels and then there’s no nerve there.

And then they can’t feel anything. And then it gets necrotic and it doesn’t work anymore. It’s very similar to the atrophy of the genital tissue. As we age, if they have atherosclerosis or, you know, fatty arteries that get. calcified with plaque. It’s happening in the penis. It’s also happening in the blood vessels of the whole urogenital system, the yoni system of the female.

Okay. And

so when, really

regardless of what kind of genitals you have, you can be pumping and keeping your genitals healthy and young and more pleasurable.

Exactly. And then the acoustic wave on top of that stimulates even more tissue growth. I do not recommend, uh, laser, intravaginal laser devices for women.

I think they’re too damaging for most women. What I recommend, let’s see, I’ve got, I’ve got my little Susie’s bag of tricks right here. What I recommend is, It’s

like a Mary Poppins bag, but of sex stuff. I love it. Exactly.

I’ve got so much good stuff.

Yeah, if you can’t see her, you’ll have to look on the YouTube, but she’s pulling out some fun stuff.

This

is a, it’s called the Vagina Device, and this is an at home vaginal rejuvenation device that uses red light therapy, photobiomodulation, warmth, And Kegel toning, vibration for Kegel toning. Okay. This is inside the vagina. The femi wave is external. But it gets deep in because the waves penetrate, it’s even more effective at reversing and increasing all of the reversing incontinence, increasing lubrication, increasing clitoral, um, sensitivity, so you can achieve orgasm more easily.

I had this, uh, I was speaking at How Do You Health and I was doing my Susie’s Sexy Show and Tell and, um, Of 85 year old woman came up to me and she was in great shape and she comes up to me and she goes, Hey, I’m having a little trouble, you know, get in there. Do you have anything? And I’m like, yes, I do.

It’s amazing. Let me take it to my mouth. And I said, take nitric oxide, use the vagina device. Go get FemiWave. These are the things, and when I’m going to have an intercourse date with my husband, I’ll put this in earlier in the day, and that red light gets my, my, my vaginal, you know, pocket really nice and engorged.

And then he gives me a yoni massage as kind of one of our lovemaking things. And that brings all the blood flow to the outer labia. Inner labia, mons, clitoris, perineum, and then so everything is all engorged and everything feels so

good. That sounds amazing. So it’s like pre foreplay, right? I know we’re not using the word foreplay technically, but yeah, you’re preparing the body to receive more pleasure.

Mm hmm. I like that. So we’ve talked about like orgasmic potential and all of that. And I, I’ve seen somewhere in your, your content that there’s like all these different types of orgasms. Can you explain that to me? Because here’s the thing, like You know, I went to quote unquote sex school, but it’s so much academic stuff.

And so like I’m really finding a lot of the practical stuff that’s beyond like psychological on my own. But I’d love to hear like, is it really like a totally different type of orgasm? Like what’s What’s going on?

Yes. So there’s, uh, by my count thus far, and I am a lifelong orgasmic learner. So I call myself an orgasminaut.

One of my mentors, Dr. Patty Taylor, who taught me the expanded orgasm practice that I’ve been teaching to couples for two decades now. And I’ve had that practice with Tim for two decades. Um, she was, she did her PhD in female orgasmic potential, and that’s really got what got me going. And I remember when we were doing this clitoral stroking technique, this expanded orgasm technique, um, I called her one day and I said, Wow, I am going so far out in my orgasm that I’m afraid, I feel like if I had to describe my coming, like at that was at the point where I was coming for an hour at a time, I would come over and over and over again because the expanded orgasm practice is a very, very light clitoral stroking technique.

that allows you to not basically wear your clit out and keep coming and coming. And I was, I just, we just want to see how long I could come. And basically you can come. Until you just get thirsty or tired or you just got to go pick up your daughter from school or whatever. And I called Patty and I said, I’m having a little bit of trouble coming back from these really long come dates.

Am I going to hurt myself in any way? Is there any, you know, like I’m a little afraid. I said, I feel like. I’m on the side of a mountain on this little tiny trail that I’m standing on the edge of this mountain and I’m looking out and everything is just dark and black. It’s like the cosmos out there. And I feel like if I push myself just a little harder and step off that ledge, I’m just going to go floating out into outer space and I’m never going to come back.

And she said, you’ll come back, step out. And that was really the beginning of my like, okay, how many ways can I come? How long can I come? What are all the different kinds of comes? And I’ve been studying orgasm and, and documenting it. And I’ve been being an orgasminaut for two decades now, and I’m up to 20 kinds of orgasms.

And the 20th is wildcard because there’s always more. That’s the thing with sex. You know, my little, my little funny saying that if sex were a brand, it would be, its tagline would be sex. There’s always something more, you know, it’s like encouraging. Oh yeah. And that for your couples who are on this, like, let’s, Have this journey of reactivating ourselves.

I’m like, you guys better get busy. You got a

lot to catch up on. This is going to be fun. Oh my God. Seriously. You got the rest of your life. And if you do what Susan says, you’re going to live a long ass time. So

we got

that going

for you. There are locations to touch to trigger orgasms. There are techniques to use like erotic hypnosis.

Let me make you come on command or the, the, um, expanded orgasm practice. It’s a specific set. of techniques, even female ejaculation, G spot awakening, and female ejaculations, but it’s a location, but it’s also really a set of very specific techniques that I’ve been teaching for decades. So you’ve got location to touch, you’ve got the techniques, and then you have what I call objects of desire.

Now that could be anything from latex wear to a flogger, things like that. But it can also be this whole area of orgasmic activation, which is, you know, um, have you ever had Dr. Nan wise on your show? No. Okay.

She’s a person I should invite. Yeah. I’ll invite her.

She, Is the person who put all those women in the MRI machines and had their partners stimulate different parts of their pleasure zones and looked at where it was lighting up in the brain.

And it was lighting up in all these different places, depending on where you touch. And because the brain is the biggest sex organ, you really. Yeah. I mean, touching your clitoris, your urethral sponge, your perineal sponge, inside your vagina, your cervical area, your nipples, your breasts, your throat, your neck, your lips, your tongue, they’re all areas of orgasmic activation.

But until you really touch them in pleasurable ways that light that brain up, it’s not gonna really register. I could touch someone on their nipples who doesn’t like their nipples touched because no one ever touched them nicely. And they would be like, I don’t like it, or it gives me shame, or it’s painful.

You could touch my nipples and make me cum in like a second because I’ve activated them.

Yeah. So it’s kind of like a neural pathway that you’re like cementing.

You’re creating new neural pathways. So what I did was I looked at all of the different kinds of tools that are available, these objects of desire to light up more.

Activated neural pathways across the vulva specifically the vulva and vagina, and it turns out there are 8 different types of tools and I say tools, not toys, sex toys makes them approachable, but they are really tools. They’re activation tools. So, they could be such things. Let me I’ll pull some out for you.

More toys, more tools. I cleaned this all up because Jessica Ann Pinn is coming over later. She’s the um, labiaplasty activist. Yes, I’ve seen her. We’re going to talk all about uh, anatomy today. So, I had to clean up my studio here, but I have all kinds of toys in here and I like to just show people like you should have all these in your pleasure, pleasure chest and you should be self pleasuring and using these toys during partnered sex so that you begin to really activate your full orgasmic potential.

So whether it’s an air stimulator or a liquor or a g spot toy or an internal external, these are really good for people who yet reliably orgasming from intercourse and there’s two sizes of this one. So this is for people like me with a giant Yoni. I can swallow the universe in mind. And then there’s the petite little gals who were like, and so it’s good to have, you know, a couple of different exactly.

And then there’s, you know, if you’re a really want to activate, you’ve got your big, big ones. Then there’s the, Uh, penis rings, uh, for him and her, or just for her, right? These are nice. Um, there’s, let’s see, I really like this one, this curve. It’s got a soft, really nice, soft

piece, which

is great. This is, um, hot octopus.

Um, This is really good for both internal and external activation.

Okay.

Um, yeah, I think those are some of the best ones. And then there’s toys like, I don’t have the Crescendo in here, but this one’s the Poco from Mystery Bud. These are ones that are really good for when you start to be able, one of the things that expanded orgasm does is it helps you take that moment of climax.

you know, the Masters and Johnson idea of Climax was a masculine Climax, a masculine ejaculatory Climax. It was buh, buh, but that’s not how we come. That’s just how we think we come, because that’s what we’ve seen. The Expanded Orgasm light clitoral stroking really helps you take that moment of climax and do it.

Really pull it like taffy taking time like taffy and stretching it out so that you’re like going into the orgasm and you’re going Oh And you just keep going and going and going and you can stay in the peak moment and these Kinds of things like the crescendo and this poco. This one’s nice because it stimulates the g spot as well And you can ride this.

This is a program, and you can, you have a Bluetooth app, and you can ride all these different programs and just keep calming and calming and calming. It knows how to toggle the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system to maximize orgasmic duration. Wow. Didn’t that sound good?

It did, but it sounds like that’s an impressive skill set for that tool.

I know it’s so good. And they’re a medical device. They’re really good for like hypoactive desire disorder and things like that. They sell through a lot of doctor’s offices and stuff like that. And then there’s one more thing that I’m really excited about. OrgasmicCrossTraining. com has all those things on it so you can see what all the eight types are for the female body and the four types for the male body.

Because if there’s anyone underperforming around here orgasmically, it’s the dudes. They’re like one and done and I want them to all be massively multi orgasmic. That would be cool. They’re starting to be open to it. They’re like. Where’s my P spot? You know? And I’m like, well, let me tell you how to find that.

And here’s what I’d use for it. And you should get the remote controlled one. And, you know, like, so I’m, guys are getting more open. I think so, for sure. So I’ll get some of this sent to you if you want it, if this is of interest to you.

Okay. Sure.

Um.

That one looks familiar. I think I have that one already.

Oh, you might. This is, uh, Phoria. And they have what I like to call a pleasure protocol. You can get **@pl**************.com and essentially it’s a triumvirate. It’s three things that work concurrently. They are all CBD based because our endocannabinoid system is our pleasure healing pathway. Hmm. And phyto cannabinoids from the hemp plant trigger and activate our.

own internal endocannabinoid system. And what they have is this oil is called the awaken oil. And when you just put a couple of squirts and you just massage it into the mons, the outer labia, the inner labia, the clitoral hood, the clitoral structure, the vestibule and the perineal area and the four shat.

And you just, you just apply it. And then you use their sex oil, their lubricant, which is really nice for the lube. And they work perfectly together, but this awaken activates all of the mind body connection. It lights up your whole yoni. Yes, please. And then, for those of us who are a little older, who have a little less estrogen, who want more lubrication, they have a brilliant thing, which is called their melts.

And these are little cocoa butter suppositories botanicals in them. You insert it into the vaginal canal and it just melts. Beautifully coats the canal so that if you’re going to have intercourse, you’ve got plenty. Cause it’s really hard to get lube up in there. Unless you have a lube shooter or something, you know, it’s just like hard to get enough in there.

And so the combination of the awakening activating with the external lubricant and the internal melt and they’ve got a relief melt that has doubled the CBD for women who are Tender.

Oh,

interesting. and they also have a booty melt. For those of us who are really big into the anal sex right now, they’ve got a booty melt.

That’s a

great idea. Oh my God. It’s so much better. Because I feel like that’s my main tip for anal sex is like lube, lube, more lube. Yeah. So if you

just stick a couple of those up in there, you’re

good. That’ll really help. Yeah.

So I’ll get some sent to you. I really, really love this product because I always say if you wouldn’t put it in your mouth, you shouldn’t put it in your vulva.

I mean, it’s, you know, that stuff at the grocery store and the drugstore, all those things, they’re FDA, you know, managed, but they have to have preservatives in them. And the preserve, these are natural botanical preservatives. Yeah. That will

mess up your pH. Like we don’t need that stuff. Yeah.

So between the get some tools for activation, use these super high quality endocannabinoid, phytocannabinoid.

activators, you’re just going to start to feel so much more pleasure. And when you know, it’s going to take me 20 minutes. So I just need to give myself the time and space to allow that to happen and to stop rushing myself. I don’t, I’m not in a man’s body. I’m in a woman’s body. Everybody’s guys are like, what’s your number one sex tip?

And I say, slow down.

It’s a good one. I agree with that. Slow down. Be present. Yeah. Turn

around, come back and get us. Get out of your head. Get into your body.

Yes. Exactly. Yes. Get out of your heads. My other one. Totally. Great. Well, I am like so inspired. I definitely want to be an orgasminaut, um, and go to the other dimensions or of orgasmic potential, which I do.

I think it’s like a spiritual practice as well. And it sounds like it is for you when you’re in those different states. It’s very cool. Um, but thank you so much for being here. I’m going to definitely have to have you back. So a million more questions. I have a million more things to talk about.

I’d love to come back.

It’s so nice to see you. speak to, uh, an intelligent kindred spirit. I mean, I think that is honestly what got me through the pandemic was doing podcasts with, you know, mutuals, people who are fighting for our sexual evolution, who are. open to sharing new ideas who are in support of moving our whole planet toward more pleasure and less shame.

And, um, I just really love the community of our community and the work we’re doing. So happy that you have a show, such a popular show because you do such a nice job with your show that, um, it gives me an opportunity to kind of get my thoughts out there and hopefully, you know, catalyze more people to, um, try all those 20 orgasms.

I hope so. I know. I’m like, let’s just like do a little orgasm class for. You know, the rest of your life, basically. Um, but thank you so much for being here, Susan. This is amazing. And I know you mentioned a couple resources, but is there any like certain place people should go as sort of a hub to like find you, connect with you, find your information and courses?

Yeah, the best place to start is probably betterlover. com. That’s my video hub. So like, if you’re like, tell me more about orgasmic cross training. Tell me more about yoni massage. Tell me about linga massage. Tell me about passionate lovemaking. Tell me about dirty talk. You know, whatever I said. There’s a video and they’re all free and that’s where you get on my newsletter.

And when you’re on my newsletter, if you reply to any email I send you with any question, I personally answer it. So that’s what made me good at what I do. years, decades of answering people’s most personal questions. And, and then my, my thing is always like, let me know how it worked. Let me know if, you know, where did you run into any more, you know, tell me how, and that’s refined my approaches over the decades to really help people.

So I, I’m in service to people. Um, and then I’m also on Instagram. I’m also on threads, but don’t follow me unless you’re a progressive liberal because I really am. And, uh, I post, that’s where I post like everything from my bike rides to my workouts. It’s more my, my lifestyle self expression. Yeah. And then there’s OnlyFans, of course, that’s also my name, Susan Bratton.

Nice. Okay. And, um, I post a lot of like, I sexy pictures there, and then I have a membership area where I actually post lovemaking techniques and things. Okay. And, um, a lot of people are like, can you please show me how you give a blowjob? Yes. And I’m like,

yeah. People actually need that. Yeah. And, you know, I think there’s actually a big disconnect between talking about something and actually being shown how to do it in, like, kind of a, Professional, safe way, you know?

Yes. So I

think that’s needed. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. I lo I’m glad that there’s an an OnlyFans that doesn’t censor me. Mm-hmm . I just wish they liked their creators. They don’t wanna be in the business. They’re in, they’re schizo. I, I’ve heard that from

others too.

Yeah. And, uh, so there’s a big opportunity in the marketplace, I think, to disrupt that business.

But for now. That’s, that’s what we have, uh, because we really can’t post on Instagram or any, you know, we can’t post on Meta or any of those things. We’re censored. It’s a disaster. We’re censored.

Yeah, it’s a disaster. But that’s why I love my podcast. I know you mentioned that too. You’re like, only fans and podcasts are like the two places of freedom.

So it’s, it’s nice to have that outlet. I

know. Thank God for that. Well, thank you for having me. I’ve

thoroughly enjoyed it. You’re welcome. This was delightful. Thanks everyone for listening and we’ll put all the links um, in the show notes so you can check out Susan’s amazing resources. Bye everybody.

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