This is the Ask a Sex Therapist podcast, helping you change the way you look at sex. I’m Heather Shannon, and in a world full of sexual censorship, I’ll give you the raw truth about pleasure, intimacy in your relationships, and enjoying your body.

Because it’s time for you to Ask a Sex Therapist.

Hey everybody. We are here with a fun episode today on sex and astrology. I’ve actually been wanting to do an episode about this. So I was very excited that our guest is available today. So Stephanie Iris Weiss is a clinical sexologist, sex coach, astrologer, and writer. Her daily and monthly horoscopes have appeared in print and online for Teen Vogue and Elle UK.

And her bylines have appeared in Elle, Allure, Marie Claire, Bustle, and many more. She’s an on call astrology and sexuality expert for well and good and writes a monthly horoscope column on Substack called On the Erotic Ecliptic. Ooh. For more info, go to stephanieirisweiss. com and we’ll also link that in the show notes.

So welcome Stephanie. Thank you so much for being here. Great to be here. Yeah. So before we hit record, we were just talking about like, okay, where do we want to, you know, jump in and stuff. And Stephanie was asking me about just my background with astrology and any experience. And I am someone who thinks it’s pretty accurate, but I know that a lot of people feel like, ah, they just say the same thing to everybody or it’s so vague, it could apply to anyone.

So what do you have to say to that, Stephanie?

I have to say that, yes, astrology has gotten a bad reputation because of that. And you know, and look, I have written a lot of horoscopes in my life, so when done correctly, they can be actually quite helpful. But yeah, you know, you share your sun sign with everybody born in a particular month, right?

This is what we hear online, like Aries season, Gemini season from like, you know, approximately the 20th or 21st of each month to the next month, we’re in a particular sun sign, which is the same thing as like, Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Right? Like that’s the same thing. So that can be quite sort of like general, right?

And doesn’t tell you so much about the full breadth of your personality, your psychological makeup. But if you know the exact time of your birth, you can get super deep And an incredibly detailed, you know, chart with thousands of permutations that, you know, I do hour long sessions with my clients when I first meet them, there’s no way even in one hour we could learn everything there is to know,

which I think

is so cool.

You know, that much

information is there. Yes.

Yes. I’ve been doing this for 20 years and for the rest of my life, I will never be able to learn everything there is to know about this ancient art, which is, you know, goes back, you know, many millennia and has a, you know, a grounding also in modern psychology as well.

You can look at it from, you know, all these different lenses.

I think, yeah, I think that’s true. And I mean, I’m a big believer that. I’m very holistic and so I’m a big believer that everything is connected, you know, it’s like we are part of our context. And I think sometimes we just get so like zoomed in on life on Earth, we forget that part of our context, part of the interconnectedness is the cosmos.

You know?

Yes, that’s a beautiful way to describe it. Yes, it is the most holistic, I think, way of understanding our, you know, our desires and our interests and who we are and our, our blocks and our issues because it does, you know, it encompasses the entire universe.

Yeah. The solar system,

at least.

Right.

Like the real macro context, although really. There’s like a bajillion galaxies. I’ve actually been learning more about astronomy and I’m like, it’s just, it’s like mind blowing. It is endless. Yeah. Anyways, we’ll keep it a little bit simple for people today. We’ll try not to blow your mind too, too much, but just a little bit.

And so you wrote this awesome new book, sex and your stars. And one of the things you just mentioned before we started recording was. Kind of getting a little bit deeper with the sun sign because that’s what most people know, right? Like the average person might not know their whole chart or even their rising sign and moon But pretty much everyone knows their sun sign, right?

This is the truth, right? So that’s That’s one of the reasons that focusing on the sun, I think, is helpful. But the other reason is as I’ve, you know, so, so it’s wonderful. It’s, it’s absolutely essential to know if we can, the entire chart and our rising sign and our moon sign and our Venus placement and our Mars placement, which I do, I do go into that in the book, Venus and Mars specifically in Blackman Lilith are placements that I do explore, but in this research over the last couple of years, and I was sort of moving toward this even in prior years.

Is that the sun is so important in sexuality because it’s, it’s our vitality. It’s the part of us that glows. Yeah. Yeah. That

makes so much sense. I, I talk a lot about how life force energy is sexual energy. That’s exactly it. Yes. Yeah.

It’s our life force energy. And the thing is, you know, although depending on the nature of our chart, whether we have a day chart or a night chart or, you know, whatever our chart ruler is, you know, our son may not be that.

Significant or it may be, it may be experiencing a block like you could have a sun Saturn conjunction or opposition, which could make your son weaker and not to get into the, into all of the, you know, the nuances of this right now. But if we just look at our son aspirationally,

so

like You know, how, what does, I’m an airy son.

So what does an airy son want to be sexually? Like, what is it reaching for? Yeah. It was at its best. What can it be? And even more so, and I explore this in each chapter is like, if an airy son has unshamed itself. That’s a big piece of it. If it’s not holding onto all of the societal shame that people born into Aries bodies typically experience, what can it be at its best?

Right. What are its erotic gifts?

I love that angle. I think, I think we need more of that angle. You know, we spent a lot of time talking about how we weren’t given good sex education and there’s all these conflicting messages and political issues related to our bodily sovereignty, but it’s nice to focus on the gifts.

So let’s get into that. Like what are some of the gifts of the difference on signs when it comes to sexuality?

Yeah. I, I, I mean, you know, I mean, I could go through each of the signs. We could do it like that. Or we could talk about, you, you given me a chart. We could look at that chart. I volunteered my chart, you

guys.

Yeah. Let’s, let’s maybe do an overview, like briefly of, of all the signs. Cause just cause everyone listening is going to have a different sign. And then we can maybe get into some more of the detail with my volunteered chart, mostly excited and slightly scared for. Okay.

So if we begin with Aries, which is the, the start of the zodiac, where it all begins the first sign, the initiator, the pioneer, the one that, you know, often like takes the risks and goes head first without asking any questions.

So that is sort of this very primal animalistic kind of like. Hunting instinct. That’s really erotic. The erotic gift of the Aries. And that can be quite complicated for Aries humans born into, for instance, a female body, like, or a person who identifies as a woman, you know, like being that primal and that kind of like, you know, it’s kind of like the vibe of like, you go up to someone and you sniff them and you’re like, yeah,

kind of like that.

Is

that how you roll?

Watch out guys.

Stephanie might sniff you. I’ve been known to sniff an armpit or two. Let me tell you. Like not even really sneaking and being like, that’s the power of the Aries. So there’s a lot of work to do there with, with unshaming and, you know, and, and being in that primal space without offending anyone or hurting, you know, causing a scene, you know, or being thought of as like inappropriate or too feral or whatever it is.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Aries can get accused of male Aries are sort of like allowed to do that more because we live in a patriarchy. So we can talk about that more too. That’s

true.

Yeah.

There’s that could be a whole separate episode. Right. But it’s true. So it’s like astrology and our gender are intersecting, you know, in terms of socialization.

Yes, yes, I do. In certain, in certain chapters of the book, specifically the Ares chapter, I speak specifically to the gender issues there, you know, like cool. Awesome. You know, yeah, because it’s a thing. I go for a very personal experience. So then Taurus. The erotic gift of a Taurus is sensuality and access.

Yeah, like access to the five senses in a way that other signs just don’t really have it. Taurus is an earth sign. And so, you know, this is a sign that when it’s at its best, with just sort of like lying in a meadow, doing very little, but being sort of like erotically awakened by even nature. Another topic that I wrote a book about is eco sex, eco sexuality.

I don’t know if you’ve looked at that at all. No, so I want to do an episode on that at some point, but Taurus is the sign and Taurus. Season is the season that sort of vibes with that idea of, you know, the erotic in nature and slow sex and sort of like a slow unpeeling of what you desire via your direct contact with your senses.

I don’t think I have, like, any Taurus in my chart, but maybe that’s why, like, maybe that sounds balancing to me or something.

Yeah, I mean, Taurus is ruled by Venus, it’s the other, so, so Libra and Taurus are both ruled by Venus, but it’s a very different expression of Venus energy. The Venus energy, at its best, Libra can get there into that sensuality.

But they have more unpacking to do because the Libra version of Venus is more about beauty and art and more sort of like intellectualized versions of that, where the Taurus version is more like of the body immediately.

Right. Okay. That makes sense. So I guess it is balancing to me and maybe that is why it sounds like that.

Yes, definitely. It’s balancing in that sense, for sure. So then we have Gemini as we’re recording. We’re in Gemini season. So I’m very much like it’s very loud right now. And Gemini is an air sign like Libra and, you know, very curious, quick witted, ruled by Mercury. And, you know, this is like the sign of sapiosexuality.

I think all the air signs are a little bit, but Gemini the most. That sort of deep curiosity about other people’s minds. So it’s like sex happening in the brain, which is where it happens, right? And demonized really get that. And they sort of like, if they can calm their nervous system, which can be hard for them, they can really express that like sort of higher ideal of sex begins in the brain.

Sex exists in the brain, sex, you know, the brain is the largest sex organ.

I could not agree more. And like part of my assessment with my clients is mental foreplay because we just talk about foreplay as this category and people think of it as like making out and fondling and oral sex. And I’m like, no, we’re missing like a whole aspect people.

So I like that Gemini is bringing that in. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like experts when it comes to flirting, like, you know, really, really good at it at their highest expression, like, like when they’ve done their work, right? Like, so everything that I’m saying about an erotic gift of a sign is kind of like the context is when they get there, like, you know, like if they’re actively sort of pursuing doing their shadow work, right?

Then we come to cancer. Cancer is the sign of, you know, like doing that aftercare, like just so beautifully, right? Like nurturing, you know, really being there emotionally for themselves. And then, you know, extending that to lovers, right? You know, like really being in the emotional space of sexuality, really experts at that.

Able to Hold that even in more casual, you know, sexual situations, situationships or whatever it is like really holding space for what are the emotions here? Like, where is the love? Where is the care? I

love that. That’s beautiful. We love depth. And

then

we

come

to

Leo. I’ve

heard some things about Leo. Oh, you’ve heard, what have you heard?

That they like the attention and spotlight.

Yes, right. So, so, yeah. So that like, right. So it comes to sort of like the cliches about each sign, right, like which are, which have some truth to them. to them, right? If we really examine, but if we, we really need to go deeper into what that means, like, so what does it mean when a Leo loves the spotlight?

You know, Leo is ruled by the sun and we were just talking about how the sun is our vitality and Leo, you know, glows, right? Like Leo, Leo individuals when they’re in their heat, right? Like an in there in heat or in their heat. We’re coming to the second sign so far after areas that is a fire sign here.

Okay. So when Leo’s have done their shadow work and they’re in good space and they love themselves, what they do is any space that they’re in, they take up all the space, like they’re in the spotlight, but what they’re doing is showing other people how to love themselves when they’re at their best and there’s just, you know, often, no matter what, you know, like making space for all different kinds of like, compromises that people can have with their bodies, whatever is going on with a Leo, because we all have different situations, right?

A Leo, when they’ve done that shadow work, no matter what’s going on with their ability to move around or whatever are in that vitality and that power of the sun, like making their lovers feel like they too can glow. That sounds very sexy. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I tell a story in the book. I tell a couple of personal stories in the book and one of them is in the Leo chapter about this Leo man.

Like one of the. You know, like I haven’t had a lot of one night stands, but this was like this man who I remain friends with to this day, met him in a bar, like walked into the bar, saw him across the room and he was like literally glowing. Like I was like, Whoa, and walked over to him. And like, we were making out within like a couple of minutes.

I was like, what, who is this? And then, but it was the Leo. It was the Leo that like pulled me in that glow.

That’s amazing. I don’t think it counts as a one night stand if you’re still friends, but very fun. Well, yeah, no,

right. It didn’t seem like it was going to be a one night stand, but then we remained, like then we dated a little bit and then we’re like, we’re better as friends and we’re still friends.

So that’s Leo, right? And so like Leo, also like Leo season, like fun time for like praise play and like, you know, complimenting your lover and all that kind of thing. Thing. Like you’re really into that kind of thing. Yeah. A lot of

people like that. Like, oh good girl, are you gonna be a good girl for me? Be a good boy for me.

Yeah. Like that kind of thing. Okay, so you guys can play with that at home during Leo’s season? Yeah, yeah,

yeah.

Like

you’re so hot, you know, like that kind of thing. Yeah. ,

right? You do that so well. Yeah. That’s good. I like the little dirty talk elements, how that can be customized to each sun sign.

Oh, it can be.

And by the way, like back to Gemini season, like, you know, that’s the really good time to like practice your dirty talk, like experiment with it. Like, cause it’s just such a verbal time. It’s like a paper writing and speaking. Love it. Okay. So moving from Leo to a Virgo. So we’re back to now we’re at the second earth sign.

The first one was Taurus. Can I ask you

a question? Yes, please. So like you saw my chart already. So I have several Virgo placements, but it’s not my sun sign. So would some of these things still pertain to me?

Yes. So the Virgo, I think you had Venus in Virgo. Let me, should we do this now or should we go back to it afterwards?

Normally, I think it shows up, I have like, all my planets are like Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio.

Yes. Oh my goodness, the Scorpio we’re going to talk about only now. I’m sure we will. Scorpio is like, Scorpio is loud here. But yes, you have Moon in Virgo, Jupiter in Virgo, and Venus in Virgo. They’re not quite What we call a stele.

It’s a stellium in the sense that they’re all in Virgo, but they’re not conjunct. They’re not like, you know, they’re far away from each other in terms of degree. But, but yes, the erotic power of the Virgo is just noticing every detail. And that makes sense. Um, and also being willing to be of service to a lover in a way that like, you know, Virgos make some of the best lovers because they just pay attention to every detail of what you might want.

And the way for a Virgo to get into their own erotic power, it’s too, well, how can I be of service to myself? Like what are the details? Right. Right. I was like, lean

into the strength. In a different way. Yeah.

Yes. Exactly. Exactly. And that’s like really like, you know, the, when we talk about like sexual sovereignty, like Virgo can really be like the purest expression of that.

Really? Oh, that’s really cool. Okay. Yeah. So with my, I think you said Jupiter, moon and Venus, does that change like the description of Virgo for me or like how it interacts? For me. Yeah. So each of these planets.

Yeah. Each of these planets are doing a different thing. Right. So, and also the house that they’re in will tell us even more information about what they’re doing, like where, in what area of life they’re doing the thing.

So the sign will tell us something, the house will tell us something. Obviously the planet, you know, it’s the expression of the planet itself. And then the other thing we can get information from is like, what, how, what kind of conversation is this planet having with other planets? So what I talked about initially about the sun, you know, being weak or being blocked.

Right. So like, If your Venus is in a square to Saturn or opposite your Pluto or something like that, this will give your Venus and Virgo a different way of expressing itself. Right. And it might have to like learn a different way to be at its best.

Okay.

That makes sense.

Okay. But the, but the Virgo sun in general, it’s like, this is going to be someone who’s going to notice like everything.

They sound like they would make a great lover.

Yes, definitely. That’s the secret. Yeah, I mean, with Virgo, like we come to this idea of like virginity, right? Like that old kind of like, we don’t, we don’t necessarily, people in our, in our business don’t like to use that word anymore, right? Um, it can be problematic, but virginity in the sense of the wor in the sense of like the purity of like almost being aversion, right?

Like it’s the goddess. level of this energy. It’s so sovereign, right? You don’t even need anybody else, right? Because you’ve really got down all the details yourself.

Good vibes. Right. Other Virgo people out there. Okay. And then Libra’s next, right? Yes. Yes. Here we are

Libra. So Libra is an air sign, a cardinal air sign.

So Libra’s. opposite Aries. So when we talked about, now we’re getting into this business of, of the oppositions and the shadow energy between the signs, which I talk about a lot in the book, like the way that Aries can learn from their Libra opposition and the way that Libra can learn from their Aries opposition shadow wise, you know, like, what are my secrets?

Like, what do I not want to look at about myself? What am I not recognizing? So with Libra. You know, it’s like the advice to Libras is like, be a little feral, don’t be, don’t always be, right? You’re like Libras are always wanting to be like adjacent to beauty, whatever beauty means to them. And everyone has different ideas of beauty, but like beauty aesthetics, you know, like museum pedestal worthy things, right?

Like perfection. Yes. Right. The highest expression where, where Virgo is. Perfection. Libra is like artistic perfection, right? Like the perfection of beauty. It’s, you know, Venus, right? So, so what Libra and that is, I mean, I mean, you know, in terms of love and sex, like who doesn’t want to be around that, right?

Like that’s amazing. That’s alluring. That’s why, that’s why Libras have very large dating pools, right? Like, that’s why like everybody falls in love with Libras or like wants to be around Libra. But one of the secrets of Libra. is that they, you know, they tend to, there’s really good, often very good at socializing and talking and like being in community and like, you know, cocktail party conversation and all of those things.

But sometimes what a Libra is doing when they’re being so glamorous and socially astute is that they’re actually like doing that because they’re hiding in a way like they don’t want to be necessarily noticed for any part of them that they think is ugly. So they’re kind of like, you know, like let’s make the environment beautiful.

Let’s like make the way that I dress beautiful. Let’s make it also beautiful that like, if there’s any part of me that’s animalistic or too hungry or too desirous. You’re not going to see that because like, yeah,

look at this beauty. It’s magic. That is interesting because sometimes I feel like I should care more about what I look like.

And sometimes I think I do, but I wonder if that’s my other placement. Um, but I do, yeah, but I do relate to the, the aspect of kind of like, like I’m good at networking, you know, I’m, I feel like people tend to have a pretty good first impression of me, but yeah, there’s lots of layers back there, people.

Oh, sure.

I mean, and you’re a Scorpio rising, right? And you have Marlin. We’re going to get to that in a little bit, but a little like nugget of this is, so I’m a Libra rising, right? So I’m an Aries sun and a Libra rising. So when I’m talking about all of this, like wanting to, you know, Be beautiful and be perfect.

And I’m like, I’m talking about myself. Yeah. I’m an Aries. Like, you know, that’s my son. That’s my hunger. That’s my vitality. But like, sometimes I get stuck in the performance of the Libra stuff. Right. And that’s, and that’s another piece of the Libra stuff sexually that I think is important. I mean, in each one of these chapters goes into so many different aspects of this, right?

Like I’m just pulling one thing

and you put exercises in there. This is, I mean, and I love how you wrote it. And a very, like, you use, like, real language. I saw that you, like, sweared a couple times. I’m like, oh, this is nice. It’s just like a real person wrote this book. You know, yeah, it may have some practical ways to incorporate it and very, like, intersectional feminist lens.

So yeah, there’s so many good things about it.

Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. So the Libra, just the last chunk I wanted to say about the Libra stuff is that one of the challenges, erotic challenges for Libra can sometimes be performative, you know, like in performative sexually, right? Like, so getting so caught up in like wanting sex to be beautiful that they’re not really like in their bodies.

Right. So that’s the thing that I want.

Yeah, that is for sure a thing for me, you know, as much as I’m obviously perfect at sex, since I’m a sex therapist, because that’s how that works. Right. Um, I’ve noticed that like, I went to, uh, like Tantra essentials workshop recently and just noticed I was almost, and this might be the Virgo stuff you were just mentioning too.

I was so kind of like trying to be tuned into the other person that I kind of realized how tense I was physically at one point in that, but that’s been something I’ve had to learn where, you know, My pattern has been like intellectualizing more, but now it does feel so good. And I think it is that maybe like a Venus Taurian connection that it feels so good to be back in your body.

Yes, that’s great. And you know, and the other thing that with the astrology, when you start to work with it, like one of the ways that you can, you know, you can do the exercises in the book, you can work with the seasons, which is one of the elements of the book. But like, you know, looking at your own transit, it, right?

So like what is going on for me this entire year or this particular month that can help me get into the healthier aspects of my chart erotically, right? Like sometimes you’ll be, you know, like if you have a Venus return or you’re having a Mars Venus conjunction, you know, like, or, or like, you know, Mars is on your Venus.

Like there are all these different times in your life. Some that happen often regularly, cyclically, some that happen less often that can help you to sort of like wake up that part of yourself.

I love that. There’s just so many ways to learn more about yourself and grow. It’s like just a whole nother pathway for people.

Yeah, totally. Totally. Totally. So shall we move on to Scorpio?

Let’s do Scorpio. Scorpio. There’s so much to say.

So yeah, the other thing that I do in this book is I debunk some of the pop astrology stuff that like, you know, like, why do Gemini’s get such a bad Rap, like I hate that and Scorpio is like Gemini’s and Scorpio is like in terms of like astrology internet memes, like get the worst shit.

So I sort of try to debunk that for the Scorpio

rising. I’m grateful.

Yes. Well, so, so not just Scorpio rising, but Scorpio rising with Mars, which is the ruler of Scorpio, the traditional ruler of Scorpio. on the Ascendant conjunct the Ascendant by a degree and also conjunct Uranus. That’s what’s going on over here.

So that’s, that’s a lot happening in Scorpio, also Mercury in Scorpio. So obviously deep interest in sexuality.

Yes. Goes with that.

The

depth,

like the depths, like not light, but like, you know, right.

Yeah.

And you know, and, and just being able to, I don’t know what your journey has been in terms of like when you started doing this work, but like there’s a way in which like you can probably get at it right away with people.

Like get at like helping them right away and just that comfort with Mars there, right? Like and you’re an authority. I mean, obviously you’re an authority because of your degree and because of your work, but like that Mars just like brings this quality of like this person is powerful when it comes to These deep topics,

I think I didn’t know I was gonna be getting extra street cred, Stephanie.

Thank you.

Yeah, I mean, I’m just telling you what I’m saying here, you know, and so you know, and but the thing with Scorpio, it’s like a little talking about debunking. It’s a little It’s a little complicated, right? Because like I say in the book, like, you know, Scorpios are not sex fiends, right? Like, cause that’s one of the bad reputations that Scorpio has, right?

There can be, and it doesn’t have to be the subject of sexuality. It can be other subjects too, but like, just. People who are willing to go to the absolute depths of something that they’re interested in. So like passion is really the key word here. So like what is the passion, right? Like so within a relationship, your passion can be your partner.

And when does that become, you know, something obsessive that becomes unhealthy or one. element of the relationship that becomes unhealthy because you just go in it and all the way and like through the middle of the earth to the other side. Like, really, like, you know, it is really getting in there. Yeah.

Yeah. It’s like, you know, Persephone, like it’s Pluto. So the modern ruler of Scorpio is Pluto, right? So it’s like plunging to the absolute depths and then like rising like a phoenix, you know? Um, yeah. So that’s like a strong signature in your chart. All right. And Scorpio’s just for everybody, so not just pertaining to your chart, but for everybody.

The erotic power of the Scorpio is sort of this magicianship, right? Like this ability to transform matter, like an alchemical power, right? Yeah, it’s a Scorpio is a water sign. But, you know, we’ve had, you know, cancer is the previous water sign. So like, where cancer is, you know, the onrushing and outflow of, you know, the ocean.

I like in Scorpio to like a cauldron, you know, I mean, Scorpio season is like, you know, is when Halloween is so it’s like, a cauldron of boiling fire, you know, love the drama. This is great. Yeah, there’s a lot of drama with Scorpio. Yeah. Yeah. But that’s, you know, like this is what, you know, some of us crave sexually is like that deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep connection, right?

Scorpio is a kind of sign like this sign has a reputation of being like a sex fiend and having lots of sex partners. And sure, some Scorpios do, and that’s totally okay. But there are Scorpios who could be like, you know, like all I want to do tonight all night is just like make out with my partner.

That’s it.

Yeah,

right. Like That’s enough. Let’s just do that. And, and Scorpio season is a time where we can experiment with like, what are the alchemical things that we can do? What are the, what can we metamorphize about ourselves and in our relationship to a lover by just something like simple? you know, like one thing.

So that’s Scorpio. And then so then we go to Sagittarius, which is the third and final fire sign. And Sagittarius are like all about the journey and the discovery. So it’s Sagittarius is opposite Gemini. So Gemini is curiosity and intellectual power. And Sagittarius also has that. But Sagittarius is more like big picture where Gemini is like, Data information, right?

Like, you know, like what is this tidbit where Sagittarius is like pulling that all together and telling a story like around the campfire. Right. Like, you know. Or like around the, you know, we’re on the fireplace, whatever it is, it’s winter now. So maybe it’s a fireplace and Sagittarius sexual power, erotic power is in like, you know, this just absolute discovery, right?

Like, you know, like, whereas a Scorpio might be willing to keep it simple. Sagittarius is like, I want to try all the things, like try all the things. I want to discover all the things. That

fits. I think what I know about Sagittarius too, like they’re, they’re explorers and like travelers and you know, it seems like those same qualities carry over to sex, which is cool.

Yes. Yes. And I mean, it can be great sexually, right? Like when you’re just willing, like they’re curious, curiosity driven, driven, story driven. Like so, you know, like it’s the kind of thing like you could go on a date with a Sagittarius and you know, maybe you’ll start at, you know, like some kind of cool restaurant and then you’ll like have a conversation with the server and that’ll like, you know, server will tell you to go to this other place and you’ll end up in this, you know, at this karaoke bar.

And then you’re like, you know. Go to a sex party. Like, you know what I mean? Like that’s the kind of thing that can happen on a date with a Sagittarius. It’s like a fun date. And the Sagittarius, you know, challenge is like, Sitting with that one thing, like staying with that one thing, right? Like, you know, like staying with that one part of yourself that you need to work on or like, you know, so maybe a lover like, you know, is stuck in something like, are you willing to be stuck with them and work with them?

Or are you going to be like trot out on your proverbial horse and like find something else? So now we come to Capricorn. So now we’re in the winter where like, you know, the winter solstice sign ruled by Saturn earth sign, final earth sign of the Zodiac. And here we have what, you know, reputationally is much more serious, right.

Well, by Saturn, a little sort of held back and like, you know, the. Capricorn, you know, stereotype as like the CEO, you know, like the person who like wants to make all the money and the success. And there is something about Capricorn that like wants to do it right. Right. Like wants to do everything right.

And wants to do sex right too. And can get a little caught up in like feeling like if they don’t do sex, right. Like, you know, going into a shame spiral about it. And sometimes like needing to work on that.

Sometimes this is making me feel like I need to get everyone’s signs when they sign up with

me.

This is something that I actually teach to sexuality colleagues. Like I do workshops about this, like, you know, like how can we incorporate astrology into our client work? You know, whether we’re, you know, for sex therapists for, for everybody who works in sexuality with clients actually. And I talk about that in the book a little bit.

So it’s. A little bit in the introduction and a little bit in the, in the conclusion. And I feel like, I’m glad you said that because I feel like, you know, therapists and, and, you know, and all kinds of sexuality professionals, I want them to pick up the book so that they can use it that way, like for their own lives, but also to work with clients.

Yeah. Yeah. It can be on your intake form. Like when’s your birthday? Yeah, absolutely. You end up getting your birthday anyways. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And Capricorn are, you know, like the, like the secret of Capricorn that a lot of people don’t know is like this connection to the body, which is really, really profound.

It’s an earth sign and all the earth signs have this in a way. Capricorns can sometimes have body image issues. But once they, you know, like feeling like weakness or, you know, like their body isn’t, the body isn’t strong and there isn’t necessarily any real evidence of this, but just like a sense feeling some, some body shame.

But once Capricorn really, really works on that, there is like. Incredible sexual power there. Yeah. And so, you know, and like Capricorns often discover that they’re a lot more experimental than they think they are. Like they can think they’re like locked in this box of like, I’m gonna do this. The, yeah. You know, there’s some queerness.

That is what I’m getting at the way or ever. Yeah. Right. No matter what the sexuality is or the attraction pattern is, like it can be very easily queered with cap. Okay.

I like that.

Yeah. Okay. Now we come to Aquarius, which is the third and final air sign also ruled traditionally by Saturn, but it’s a different expression of Saturn.

And so we have in Aquarius another, so you know, the theme of intellectual is right with Gemini and with Libra and with Aquarius, very, very strong. Getting stuck in your head is a thing with Aquarius that can be an erotic challenge, like airiness. being like up here and not down here in the body and a way in for aquariums who are like, by the way, like speaking of like, you know, queerness and stuff and like experimental, like aquariums tend to be really good at that.

Like, yeah, like it tends to be easier for them to get to than some other signs. People with strong Aquarius signature, even though they’re ruled by Saturn, but there can be a protectiveness around the heart, right? So Leo, their opposite sign, like Are like the open hearted, right? Like all of the signs that I didn’t mention this yet have associations with different body parts.

And so Leo, I did see that. I would see that. Yeah. That’s always

Pisces and it said feet. And I was like, are they more likely to have a fudge?

That is something. Yes, yes, yes. And attending to and I talk about this in the Pisces chapter like paying special attention to Pisces feet or letting a Pisces pay attention to your feet is actually can be like really powerfully erotic.

So all of the signs have that rulership. I left that out because it’s just there’s so many. There’s a lot of so many details. Yeah, but what but for Aquarius, you know, tapping into their erotic power can require um, You know, finding that openness to the heart center. So there are less, you know, less area intellectualized and more that connects them back into their body.

Sounds

good.

Yeah, so Pisces, the, the final, the final sign of the zodiac till we start at the beginning again is a water sign and Pisces is, is sort of like, so I talked about the expression of water, like, you know, as like the sea and cancer, you know, the, the waves flowing and Scorpio is like, you know, the cauldron.

Pisces is like the entire ocean. All right. So like, wow, the cosmos of the ocean, like, so it, as the last sign, it kind of, in some ways encompasses. All the signs, right? It’s so it’s like it’s learned all the energy of all the other signs and it’s got all of it right and it co mingles and it has no boundaries and it floats and you know, and and just sort of like lets itself be taken by the ocean.

It’s cosmic consciousness. It’s the collective unconscious. It’s our dreams. It’s all of those things. That’s, that’s what Pisces is. And Pisces people are, you know, have sort of natural healing abilities with, and like a tendency to immediately Even without necessarily a conversation, discussion or whatever, like begin that, you know, sort of like meeting a person and begin healing them like just energetically without even intending to, and that boundary list thing can be problem, problematic.

For Pisces, they’re not so good at, you know, in relationships, creating boundaries. They tend to cater to everyone’s needs. So there’s a, the opposite sign is Virgo here. So like the way that Virgo is of service, right? And attending to the details. Pisces is also of service, but attending to like the entire being and not really paying attention to the details.

Okay. And it can be exhausting and hard for the Pisces. Yeah, sounds like it. And so the erotic challenge here for Pisces is to, is to put on their own oxygen mask in relationships. Right. So like really, you know, make sure that whenever they in a, you know, in a longterm relationship to, you know, make sure that they’re not caring solely for their partner until they get completely exhausted all the time.

And then just sort of tuning out. Or their children or whatever, whatever the circumstances are to really focus on that.

Yeah. I’m thinking of a

Pisces

who I

know

and this

is resonating. Yeah. Yeah. They have to not take on too much.

Yeah. Okay. That makes a ton of sense. I can’t believe we got through the whole Zodiac.

Good job. We did it. Now, one of the things, I know we talked like briefly, briefly about Venus and Mars, so if we have time, we can circle back, but I really wanted to ask you about this Black Moon Lilith thing. Like, what is

that? How did it get its whole chapter? Help us learn. I’m so glad you asked. So Black Moon Lilith is not a planet.

It’s a placement. It’s basically like. it’s the, I’ll just sum it up by calling it like the dark of the moon. It’s like a, it’s a place in the, in the solar system where it’s the darkest without getting into like, you know, the weeds here. So where’s mine? Ah, yes. I did want to talk about this cause. Cause your Black Moon Lilith is in Libra and it is conjunct your Pluto.

Um, and so you have a Libra stellium, so you have Sun, Lilith, and Pluto all in Libra, but the Sun is kind of far away, not far away, I mean it’s like, you know. It’s within a 10 degree orbit. It’s not super close, but you’re a Lilith and your Pluto junked, and I am absolutely fascinated by this. And this is like a new I’m having a new astrological discovery.

I’ve worked with Lilith for a really long time, but I haven’t done a lot of charts for her. Other sexuality professionals and, and I love doing yours because I also have black moon, Lilith conjunct my Pluto. And I’m starting to think to myself, is this a thing in like, I mean, it’s already rare,

right?

Rare in the sense that Pluto is very slow moving, so Pluto stays in every sign for a really long time.

Lilith stays in each sign for about nine months, so you know, could be a little bit rare. But like this exact conjunction is what’s of interest to me. It’s an exact conjunction. I have that too, like within a couple of degrees. So now I’m going to go look at like every sexuality professional. Yeah, I want to know too.

Do you have Pluto conjunctivitis? I know. Yeah. Um. So to give you a little background though of like what Black Moon Lilith is and does not a lot of astrologers work with it And I am as you said, I’m an intersectional feminist and feminism extremely important to me in my life And my work and has been since I was a teenager like my first activism thing was reproductive rights when I was very young so my read my take on Black Moon Lilith is like the Part of our chart where we can experience a lot of sexual shame, but also the part of our chart like where if we work through it like this is where we want to fuck up patriarchy.

This is where we are willing to take that risk and like throw the table over and experience like righteous rage against patriarchy in this part of our Life chart. So, you know, there’s also like, you know, all of the planets work this way, but like an example with Blackman Lilith is like, you know, not in a chart, but just sort of like in our lives, collectively, we have the same experience when we’re already alive, our charts are established.

So Blackman Lilith, for instance, is at the end of June changing. It’s been in Virgo. And it is moving into Libra, and I don’t know what’s going to happen, but my assumption about what’s going to happen with, with, so you’re going to have a Black Moon Lilith return, actually, which means that Black Moon Lilith is going to return to, because it’s going to go through Libra, it’s going to be back to Libra.

And when you have a black man will return that like wakes up your Lilith and like you feel that ferocity, which is can be really, really powerful if you’re, you know, like awake and alive and your righteous rage all the time, right? Like if it hits you when you’re sort of like keeping it all wrapped up, it can be a little bit explosive and uncomfortable.

So that’s why I encourage people to work with it all the time. Right?

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, but when Black Moon Lilith goes into Libra, which is the sign, as we’ve discussed, ruled by Venus associated with women, right, associated with the feminine and feminism, feminisms, I think this is going to be a summer of like Black Moon Lilith.

Whatever, whatever happened in 2016, 2017, which was when Black Moon Lilith was there in those years. I don’t remember exactly when, but I remember we had the women’s march, right? What’d you

say?

I’m

scared now. I said that was not a good time for me. So now I’m scared.

No, no. Well, that was not a good time for like anyone, really, frankly.

Like there are worrisome things about it. There are worrisome things about a lot of things that are coming back from 2016 without getting into the details. Details. Mm-hmm. Embracing myself, . But the Black Moon Lilith piece, I mean, look at the situation with reproductive rights right now, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, we lost road two years ago, right?

Yeah. So, you know, what is going to happen in terms of abortion rights this summer? I mean, the other thing to know about Lilith the goddess, right? Like James Joyce referred to Lilith as the patron saint of abortion. The patron of abortion. Oh, interesting. Right. So, you know, yeah, I think it’s going to be interesting.

I’m starting to call it the summer of Lilith or like hot Lilith summer. I don’t know. So, so, so Lilith is like an actual, is Lilith

like a person or a goddess or? So yeah, so Lilith the goddess,

the Biblical Lilith. And I, you know, I talk about all of this history in the book too. The Biblical Lilith was Adam’s first wife.

So the Biblical Lilith is the one who’s like, not in the Bible. She got written out of the Bible, but she was not made from the rib. She was like an autonomous person. And she was like, you know, I’m sorry if I swear here, but she was like, you know. I’m, you know, fuck you, Adam, like I’m gonna be on top, like you’re gonna let me be on top and you’re gonna let me have, you know, like experience my, you know, it let me experience pleasure and do what I want.

And he was like, No, you must obey me, woman. Yeah. And so he banished her from the garden and she went to live with demons so she could just like do whatever she wanted. And then, you know, you know, made Eve out of his ribs so we can, you know, and that’s sort of like the story of Patriotism. This is just one, you know, one of many interpretations and then like, you know, Christianity, like, you know, like early Judaism and Christianity sort of made Lilith into this demon, right?

Who would like eat babies and all these other, all these other things. But, you know, Lilith has been reclaimed by feminists. Okay. As this powerful force and I, you know, Jewish feminists in particular, like developed this, there’s a, there’s a, a literary journal called Lilith. I think it was created in 1971, which is basically like created by Jewish feminists.

Okay. So it’s still around and it’s still really, really good. Cool. Yeah. But yeah, that’s sort of like the short story of Lilith, which is why astrologically as different astrologers over, you know, the decades have been working with that Lilith energy and trying to figure out what it is in people’s charts.

Lilith seems to be about like the possession of our righteous rage. And as I have worked with it as an astrologer for the last 20 years, working with thousands of different charts and like looking at where Lilith is and people’s charts and Trying to figure out like what she’s doing. That’s the conclusion that I have come to

why the black moon So it’s like black moon Lilith like a constellation in the sky.

Yeah, so This is where it gets a little, I think, too complicated for people. I don’t want to ask

a lot of questions if

you wanted to know where your black moon Lilith was and you didn’t have an astrologer and you went to astro. com, you would see that there are three different things that are called Lilith.

So we want to, we want to focus on Black Moon Lilith, not the other Liliths because I’m speaking of, you know, the other Liliths could, there’s an asteroid Lilith, right? Like, so the other Liliths could have to do with the same themes, but the one that I have studied most is the Black Moon. Okay.

Interesting.

Yeah. This whole thing is so fascinating. Yeah. Is there, is there anything else crazy from my chart that stands out or maybe not crazy, but just interesting

in terms of, so, you know, just, I’m just thinking about you cause I didn’t know you before today. And so it’s just like thinking of you as a sex therapist at the podcast.

One of the things. You know, so I was trying to draw out, like, what are the things that tell me that this person is a sex therapist, right? So that Lilith Pluto conjunction, yes, because we both have that, right? And your Venus is square, your Mars. So very often, people who have Venus Mars aspects, so like, In various ways, whether your Venus and your Mars are in a harsh aspect, which is a square here or an opposition, or they’re in, you know, an easier conversation, which would be a trine or a sextile.

We often find these placements in people who are very interested in sex in some way, more than the average Joe or Jill. Makes sense. I have an exact sex style in my chart between Venus and Mars. So, you know, yeah, like I’m obsessed now with like doing the charts of other sexuality professionals because I wonder if we’re going to find these things in all of

them.

I’m sure I could like send more your way if you’re like doing a study on it. Yeah, totally. I would

love, yeah, I would love people to reach out to me for that. Okay.

Yes, it is. It’s really fascinating. And thank you so much for sharing all of this with us. I’m excited for people to check out your book and hopefully pre order it because that’s always helpful and important.

So can you tell people like how can they find it and where should they go?

Yes. So, Sex and Your Stars will be available on July 30th. You know, that’s when you would be able to receive your copy that you hopefully pre ordered. You can get it from all your regular retailers. It’s my publisher, Sounds True.

There will be an audio book, which I recorded myself and had a lot of fun doing. When I did that, like after I did that, I was like, Hmm, maybe I want to do like audio erotica. Like I really enjoyed that experience. I

totally auditioned for that once, but I was not selected.

I might try again. Totally. So, so you can find it at my website, stephanieirisweiss.

com. Stephanie is spelled with an F, not a PH. Some people are confused by that. So it’s S as in Sam, T E F as in Fran, A N I E. Iris like the flower. Weiss, W. E. I. S. S. Stephanie Iris Weiss dot com. I have a link there where you can automatically go to all your different retailers to preorder it. I’m actually offering 10 percent off all readings for people who preorder and show me their receipt.

That’s a nice offer. Yes. And also entry into a raffle to win a free reading. So you can do both. If you preorder, you can potentially get a free reading.

Okay, love this. Yeah. That’s awesome. Can people book readings? I’m sorry. Go ahead. I’m sorry. You know, you go ahead. Sorry. Can people book readings from your site too?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You can. You can. It’s under, under stars, which is how you can book a reading. And I would encourage people. I have a limited spaces. In my schedule, just to make space for writing and other stuff that I do. However, if you go on there and you don’t see, see a space, just reach out to me directly, like email me, contact me, message me on one of the apps on, you know, Instagram or, or Twitter, Instagram.

I’m Stephanie Iris Weiss dot com Twitter. I’m eco sexuality. I can receive DMS, I think in both places, maybe not Twitter.

But yeah. Go into your Instagram and your website just to kind of give people Sherbecks.

Yeah, yeah. Instagram and the website are the two best places. Yeah.

Okay, cool. So those will be in the show notes.

So if you’re like, I don’t remember how to spell any of this, just scroll down and click. Excellent. Yeah. This is awesome. Thank you so much, Stephanie. This was like a real pleasure and I feel like I learned some things and I love the idea of incorporating it into my work too. So y’all work with me, you might get a little bit of this too.

I had so much fun. Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. Bye everybody. Thanks for listening. Bye. Thank you for listening to the Ask a Sex Therapist podcast. Got a question about spicing things up in the bedroom? Find the answers you’re looking for in my Dirty Talk Guide. A free resource for my podcast listeners.

Grab yours now at heathershannon. co forward slash dirty talk. Again that’s heathershannon. co forward slash dirty talk. And be sure to tell your partner or friends because everyone has something they would like to ask a sex therapist.