Hello to all my toy lovers! You are the Playful Spice type. That means you want to enjoy the amazingly wide array of sex toys that are out there and experiment and see what works. You may like using toys alone or with a partner and both are great. If you already have some toys that you love, don’t worry there are plenty more out there & if you’re new, you have so much fun in store to explore!

A couple things to know before choosing your toys: 

• Consider the material used to make the toy. Porous toys are more likely to trap bacteria and non-porous toys won’t. However, non-porous toys may have other limitations and will generally be more expensive. Additionally, you can’t use silicone toys with silicone lube or it will start deteriorating your toy. Just make sure you’re making an informed choice.
• Sex toys aren’t really things you can return, LOL. For that reason, I like the idea of going to a store in person and talking to an actual human about what you’re hoping to find. If you live in Chicago, LA or NYC, you can check out The Pleasure Chest in person, but if not they have lots of great info online as well. Their stores are gorgeous and their employees are crazy knowledgeable and super comfy talking about sex. It’s also just really fun to see what’s out there. 

There are more than just wand and rabbit vibrators these days. There are suction devices, toys that mimic tongues, vibrating cock rings, anal toys, remote control devices that come with an app, harnesses, swings, nipple clamps and more. The sky is the limit these days, so go to town. 

Want More Juicy Tips?

There are some ingredients that tend to make sex fulfilling for most of us that don’t include toys or tangibles! If you crave closeness with your partner remember the simple things…

Presence – We all love feeling that someone is truly WITH us. Not distracted. Not thinking about someone else. Not just trying to hurry up and get to the orgasm at the end. And not trying to hurry up and get to our orgasm even. Just present with a sense of curiosity and no agenda. You could also think of this as mindfulness when it comes to sex.

And the thing is, we can’t control anyone but ourselves, so practice bringing this presence to your next sex session with a partner. One relatively easy way we can do this is by tuning into our breath and our 5 senses. When your mind wanders to what’s for dinner or your infinite “to-do” list, bring it back to the feel, the sounds, the temperature, the texture, and the sensations you’re experiencing.

Try taking a deep breath and letting go. And you may want to clue your partner in ahead of time that you’re going to be trying something a little different–they may want to join you! 

Communication – While words can be limiting, talking about sex is generally helpful for knowing what your partner is into and expressing what you’re into as well. Because we haven’t been taught to talk about sex and prioritize pleasure, most of us aren’t used to this. If this is something you could use some work on, I’d encourage you to have a meta-conversation with your partner.

Ask them if they’d like to receive feedback and how. And tell them the same in return. I wouldn’t recommend having a full-scale post-mortem right after sex, but little bits of feedback during an encounter or a discussion when you’re calm and fully clothed can go a long way towards getting you on the same page, helping you feel truly understood by your partner and getting to know what lights them up sexually as well.

Want More Help?

Want some help applying all this spicy info to your own personal life? Whether you’re dating or partnered up or ethically non-monogamous, I can help! Book your $1 consultation with me!

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