030 Air Sex Championships and Improv for Flirting with Comedian Chris Trew
It’s called the air SEC championships is a comedy show that I had been running since around 2008. And it’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s like air guitar but with bucket instead of pretend bucket, right? So it’s like, if I pretend to fucking legal will be good individual acts you know people joke with me all the time they’re like Well can I bring my girlfriend boyfriend with me it’s like well not on stage because you wouldn’t bring a real guitar to an air guitar show and then just like actually hold a real guitar but pretend to play it. It’s not the dry home right? Right.
This is the ask a sex therapist podcast helping you change the way you look at sex. I’m Heather Shannon. And in a world full of sexual censorship, I’ll give you the raw truth about pleasure, intimacy in your relationships and enjoying your body, because it’s time for you to ask a sex therapist. Hey, everybody, we are here with a very fun guest this week, and we’re going to talk to you about air sex and improper flirting. So buckle in because it’s gonna be a fun one. But before that I do have the review of the week. So if you hear your review, read reach out to us and you will get a bundle of sex and relationship books. So this week’s review is called unfiltered and insightful. This podcast makes you think it’s raw and unfiltered. So buckle up for some bold conversations about sex and the human condition. So thank you to this reviewer. And I’m glad that you feel that is bold and insightful at the same time. So we will try to keep delivering on that today as well. So let me officially introduce today’s guest Chris true is a comedian and improv coach living in New Orleans. He has been featured at over 75 A lot comedy festivals in North America and seen on MTV America’s Got Talent and GQ magazine. He runs comedy House New Orleans hell yes Fest and teaches improv comedy all over the world. So welcome, Chris. Thank you so much for being here. Hello, everybody. I’m so excited to be here. Heather is the beard is a beard. Good enough. combing his beard, you guys. The beard looks beautiful. So if you’re not watching on YouTube, you guys will have to go check out Chris’s beard. I’m so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. What a delightful way to spend a Friday afternoon. Let’s get into it. Yeah, let’s get into so I’m gonna tell the backstory of how I stalked you online. And how I found you. So air sacs people are like what? When I mentioned it, so air sacs is an interesting thing that will let you describe more, but I had seen a performance of air sacs back in the day. And then here in St. Pete, Florida, where I live, I had gone to sort of a, like a sex positive type event where there were performers you know, scantily clad, like fire spinner people and stuff. And for whatever reason, this is just super random. It triggered my brain to be like, Whatever happened to your sex life, because it had been a number of years ago. So I went down the internet rabbit hole. And I was like, I don’t know if air sex is still happening, what is going on? We definitely need to make sure this is still happening. Let me find the creator of your sex. And so then I found Chris on Twitter and Instagram. And he followed me back and then he like, posted some stuff about improv. And I commented, and then that led to a zoom call. And here we have it, folks. Chris is actually on the podcast now. So I feel like we’re manifesting something. I’m not sure yet. Yeah, what’s so sweet about that story? Heather, it just may be common for you. This is just not that common for me. But we actually got on a zoom call just to like, meet and hang out. And like, that was not a podcast, like we actually were like, we’re like, what is going on with with each other’s things? And how can we be in each other’s lives? And it was a real life, like hangout. It was a zoom hangout. It is funny because people like us, I think, normally were like, we would have recorded that we would have been like, let’s do this right now. But anyway, I mean, that in a sweet way. No, I agree with you. And I appreciate you saying that. And I mean, I think this podcast is also about connection. And I think the idea of like just connecting to connect and like being curious and not like cool. Let’s use this for content necessarily all the time. You know, totally he’s very genuine very kind and yeah, so about air sex. It’s Yes, please. People. So air sex, it’s called the air SEC championships is a comedy show that I had been running since around 2008. And it exactly what it sounds like. It’s like air guitar but with bucket instead of pretend bucket Right. So it’s like they’re by pretend fucking legal will be good individual acts, you know people joke with me all the time they’re like, Well can I bring my girlfriend boyfriend with me is like, well not on stage because you wouldn’t bring a real guitar to an air guitar show and then just like actually hold a real guitar, but pretend to play it. It’s not the dry hook. Right? It is the rare case, Heather, where the name of the show is actually what is going on, people are having sex with the air. Oh my god. So at its root, at its core, it’s a comedy show, like my background is in comedy, my background is in doing live comedy shows, but it has organically taken on a very sex positive feel. Because we don’t want a bit of that there’s a ton of reasons. But just to give you some broad strokes here, it’s like, it’s a very vulnerable thing to do in public at a large music venue to get up there and pretend to have sex. And so we want people to feel comfortable doing this. And it’s very, you know, there are celebrity guest judges, and there is a winner, but we work really hard for it to not be like who’s the hottest and who fucks the best. It’s so not the vibe, it’s very silly and weird. And of course, sexual kind of hot a little bit too. I’ll let the audience decide that you know, and it can be, it can be because sometimes you’re like, some people come to it. And it’s like, basically like a sketch comedy routine, where it’s like, what would it be like, if the post office guy ended up delivering me a package of his balls, and then I opened it and licked his balls, and had to sign for the package afterwards, or whatever, right? But but also, sometimes people are like, actually, I’m in the mood, and I’m feeling sexy. And I’m gonna show you how I like actually thought. And both these things happen in the same show. And just a little bit more context that I’ll shut up for a minute, is this show is at its core, a comedy show. So it’s not like you’re buying a ticket to go watch this really intimate thing and it’s like grimy it very much like I also have a big pro wrestling background. So a lot of the pomp and circumstance of pro wrestling like the pageantry of it like that is a big part of the air sex experience. Right? So yeah, just like who wants to come up here next and pull out their fake dick. It’s like no. Like, this next person has a thoughtful idea combined with music with the caring element of like, the host and judges is like really supporting you. It ends up being like a really bizarrely sweet and comedic ly smart and sexual night. Yeah, I have to say, based on what I knew of air sacs, I was also just curious like, Who is the person behind air sights and you are probably sweeter than I was expecting. You’re very like kind person. Oh, thank you. That means a lot and I think I understand what you’re saying because I done a decent amount of press for the show. The show has had these four patients with like somewhat mainstream ish success. Yeah, so I’ve done some press runs with it. And I have heard people I’ve had to say things like this is not like some corny bro dude has came up with a way for you to watch people dry. It’s so entertaining you guys we will get some clips in the show notes for sure. Like maybe Chris you could pick your favorites and we’ll link to them in the notes so you guys can check them out but like I had the privilege of being at one of these in person and like for me like my sense of humor like I love anything that strikes me is like absurd and this just like so perfectly like fit that bill like this is just outrageous. Yeah. And when you when you take up so now I’m bridging like my comedy education world with air SATs, but like when you take something as absurd as x can be right? You take something as absurd as that. And you insert like a framework around it. People can understand it basically like American Idol. But for fucking you. I’d like people can understand that. That’s a great way to explain it. And then people are like, Oh, I it becomes very easy to laugh and be entertained by it. As opposed to that uncomfortable thing that I think a lot of people first hear just like a live comedy show where people are having sex. No, thank you. It’s like, open yourself up a little bit. But also those are the same people that like they hate sex toys, or communicating about sex. It’s all the same people, right? Yeah, we don’t have any of those people on the show. I actually have a very diverse audience and I love that about my audience. Yeah. So I do want to know, how did you decide to get into Airsoft, like what was sort of the lead up to this unique journey? It was pretty organic Heather because I was in Austin at the time. And air guitar shows were getting very, very popular. I was doing a lot of creative work and emceeing for this movie theater called the Alamo Drafthouse has since blown up now it’s a national thing, but the time it was Like it was only in Austin, and it’s a big part of like Austin’s early, like, this place is weird and creative and very unique right track has had a lot to do with that. So I’m hosting co hosting, judging these air guitar shows and for Oh, special one off on Valentine’s Day 2007 I believe we had the idea mostly came from Tim Lee, who is the owner of the Alamo Drafthouse he was like, let’s do this air sex thing. I saw a video of people doing this in Japan. And the Japanese video was like, really low stakes and low status. It was basically like, if you’re lonely and sad and looking for something to do, like Come see what these guys are doing in this tiny theater in Japan. It was like very, it was what people think of their sex. Now, a lot of times, it’s like it was very low stakes. We basically were like, what if we turned this all the way up? What if we injected some my improv background and that mentality would have been poured a heavy dose of sex positivity on it would have been sprinkle in some of the wrestling stuff and just sports in general. And after years of dizziness to varying degrees of success it like, it started to really take shape and 2010 2011 where I was like, This is it. This is the show. Okay. And did you have like who does air sacs like what kind of person is like, I’m gonna sign up for an air sacs competition? Yeah, who does air sacs? Great, great question. And, you know, you might be surprised a lot of different types of people do. Of course, there’s the people who lean towards performing. There’s your comedians, your improvisers, your sketch, comedy, people, there’s actors and people who are comfortable being vulnerable on stage, right. But there’s also like the next wave of those people who are maybe comfortable being onstage but don’t have like a train to comedic ly. So not to say they’re not funny, but people like maybe singers, or burlesque dancers, or both, I think are also funny, but they’re not doing it for last anyway, I don’t want to get into easier, but you get my point. It’s like, there’s that wave of people. It’s a podcast host. But then there’s also another there’s people who, the same time people who like karaoke, I think are candidates to be oh, there is a corny karaoke vibe to it, where it’s like, where people are like, You know what, I never thought I would have done this. But fuck it, I’m gonna do that thing that I told my friends happened to me, you know, on that weird date a few months ago, I’m gonna go reenact that. This is a testament to the show, something I’m very proud of. But it’s like, when we start the show, in a brand new city, we might have like three people who assigned that. And honestly, we need like eight or nine for a full show. But I never get nervous. Because what happens every time is people see a few. And then they realize that it looks fun. It looks safe on being taken care of the crowd is into it. And suddenly people feel like they can participate. And then we end up having too many people. It happens every time amazed almost every time. That was most of the time. Wow. Did you actually have too many people who want to perform? Yeah. And do you like workshop is with people at all? Do they have to like audition? Or like no, that would make my life simultaneously easier and harder, because it’s so in the moment. Honestly, here I am bridging bridging all the things together again, but I think so much of the best things in life are spontaneous and in the moment, and that can be true for poverty to be true for sex, it can be true for many of life’s experiences. So I don’t like the idea personally of pulling into Portland on a Thursday and saying like, Alright, come to the auditions Thursday afternoon. If you make it during the show Friday, it’s like no, I actually went that raw in the moments energy on Friday night. Now that that comes along with that, though, is like the anxiety of who is going to be doing risky, like oh, no, people are gonna do. So, like that kind of brings us a little bit into improv. So I know we connected on that on line a little bit. So like I had a friend in Chicago who actually had like an improv or mental health group. And I’ve recommended improv to clients over the years, you know, and think I can kind of help with, you know, social anxiety, or just like censoring themselves, but something I run into a lot with sex therapy is people censor themselves quite a bit, just because of how our culture is, I think, but I think there’s so many applications like what what do you think since you’re the Pro on this? Well, yeah, I think improv is this like communication, swiss army knife that really does so many things. For so many people. It teaches you how to remain in the moment. It teaches you how to be a great active listener. It teaches you how to roll with the punches and it can increase like charisma and charm and just help you keep things moving and It basically I get trained to never not know what to say. I love that. And so what I what I’ve seen over the years is like, people take improv classes for all kinds of different reasons. And more and more people these days are taking them for non comedic reasons. Now they end up learning comedy, because it’s impossible to not, at least the way I teach it like that, even if a company brings me in and is like, I need you to do an improper networking event. Because we’re all going to this big thing next week. And we’re all nervous, like, I can do that. But you’re gonna learn comedy in the process. Like I can’t turn that part off of it, because it’s so organic and so natural. And also, I mean, you mentioned it like your friend mental health people take improv classes for mental health reasons. People take improv classes to learn how to talk to people they are attracted to, it really is the czar, super food of skills that you get when you learn how to be improv. I love that. And yeah, I don’t think that was something I initially realized. I always thought it’s like, this is just a pathway if you want to do like sketch comedy, you know, being from Chicago, we have second city. So like, if you want to do sketch comedy, Second City, you gotta like take some classes, or you want to do stand up, you should probably take some classes. But yeah, it’s for so much more than that. And it also just seems fun. Like, sometimes just for fun. Totally. And that is, that’s so funny. I recorded a video about this the other day from my YouTube, but it’s like, I forget to tell people how much fun it is, like, whenever I’m going through the list of reasons. It’s like, fun is always like the last one, for some reason. So I’m like, it does this and you’ll be a better listener and be less stressed out. And, and I’m like, oh, yeah, you’re also gonna laugh your ass off and feel connected to other humans. And, you know, there’s all that all the great things that come along with that. So yeah, also, improv is super fun. One of the things I’ve learned just being like a private practice therapist for a long time, was that adults struggle with like, rest and play. And it’s problematic. It causes mental health issues, and relationship issues. And I think when you were just explaining that, it’s like, well, you know, oh, it’s gonna help your stress, and it’s gonna help your networking, it’s gonna help blah, blah, blah. It’s almost like, we feel like we have to justify fun, I think, because I think we’ve just gotten to this point in the culture where it’s like, I must be productive, and I must achieve this. And I must, you know, make this much money and I must, you know, whatever. And it’s like, or just have fun. It’s so wild, right? Because as we get older, as we become more set in our ways, as adults, we start to have solutions to all the problems and it starts to become part of our personality, part of the way we we move to the world, we have solutions for the problems, we don’t want any more problems. I am no longer curious. I’m not curious. And I want new experiences, you know, and improv untangles all that. Improv is like, well, guess what, you’re not only going to have new experiences you’re gonna do with new people, you’re gonna work your creative muscles, you’re going to become more curious about other things in life, you are going to be a better listener, you’re gonna have techniques to dissolve conflicts. It’s like, it really is the thing. Yeah, it overlaps with sex from what you’re saying too. Cuz like, I you know, people are afraid to have conversations about sex. They don’t know how to start start the conversation about sex. They’re censoring themselves and not sharing what they actually want. There’s kind of this like, oh, well, I should be this way. Or I should say this, but not that. And then it’s just saying what they mean or what they want to say. Because there’s like this fear there. And I I kind of look at improv is like a way to overcome fear to Yeah, and I would, I’m thinking in this example, right now in this moment, but it’s like I’m thinking about one of the most difficult conversations might be to have about sex, which is like someone’s preferences, right? So it’s like, if person A is talking to person B, about something they want to try or they’re curious about, I imagine that one of the most difficult things is getting over that fear of opening up right. But if the people involved I have it they use the same technique that we use in improv, which is yesterday Monday, it’s like the yes is acknowledging what you said that that is your reality. I heard that and the and it’s what I add to it so that it becomes a back and forth dialogue. If you were to do that when someone is having that type of conversation or any type of loaded conversation or difficult not passing judgment I mean loaded like that, that is for whatever reason, if you’re gonna have a hard time having conversation at x x. Then Then consider using a yes am technique is what we do at improv to keep that conversation going. So then it becomes like, hey, I really curious about, you know, having sex in a public place. I’m picking up a thing, right? I do not condone doing that in places where you might get arrested unless unless you have unless there is a risk you’re willing to take. Exactly. Exactly. Maybe being arrested as part of your cake. I’m not judging right but Also, in people who are there in public who have not necessarily all consented to be watching your ass having sex, it gives you a different example. Okay. What can you do? Um, I mean, how adventurous are we feeling today? Okay, let’s just say, Okay, let’s just like pick a position. Right. Let’s say there’s a couple that’s that’s had very this like, again, no judgment had very basic sense. Yeah, nella sacks its roots. They’ve been together for a long time. And they like do what works. And they do the same thing all the time. Yeah. Great. Okay, side note, but it was, you know, vanilla is no shame, vanilla. Great if it’s working for you. Yeah, my whole thing is like, if it’s working for you, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it. But if it’s not working, then do something different. Yeah. Okay, my kink is over qualifying all the exams. So this is going great. Okay, so like, couple of qualifying kink. And that about you? Yeah. So imagine Person A being like, I am really curious about trying this position. Okay. I think the baggage they might have is how will that be accepted. But if the other person is trained to accept what the other person says, as their truth as their reality, it becomes more about actively listening and starting the conversation. So it’s like, Yes, I understand. You want to try that? And maybe the and is like, yes. And I’ve been thinking that same thing. But like, you also might get Yes. And I didn’t know that about you. Tell me more about this side of you. That’s also sounds like a really good, a really good outcome. Basically, yes. And prevents you from like denying what someone’s wishes are right? It doesn’t mean that you have to do it. It’s a yes. And isn’t like agreeing to everything the other person says, you know, we don’t do that in improv, either. It’s going with it, where it’s going with the idea, like, Heather hurt me and you were doing a comedy scene, and I’m in jail for public sex, you know, from before, I’m in jail. If I were to say to you, like, my first line was like, Hey, I see you have the keys to the cell. Like, let me out yesterday, it doesn’t mean that you have to let me out. And I’d be like, Chris, we got to negotiate that I’m not so sure. Great. I like that. So that Yes. And it’s acknowledging that I just made you the prison guard. Like no, but is up and like, Chris, stop playing get out of your room, we have to go to work that is completely denying it. The more we’re talking about this, it’s fascinating because like this is dovetailing with the Gottman couples counseling research where they talk about bids for attention. So it’s like when someone when your partner tries to connect with you, are you kind of like cool, I’m gonna meet you where you’re at, and we’re gonna connect. So it’s like called turning towards, or like turning away where you kind of like, totally, nor that they said anything about being in jail, and you’re just like, you know, it’s raining, I should probably get an umbrella. You know, so you’re like, Did you hear what I said? Are you pressing me with me what’s happening? And then there’s a straight up ignoring it, too. So it’s like, this is like, super, super predictive of like, what marriages succeed and which ones down? It’s like the same thing. Yeah, it’s totally the same thing. So it’s like you have to go with and then in the kink world to have you heard don’t yuck my yum. Yes, for sure. Right. So that’s like, I feel like that’s also like a yes and big time. I mean, really, all I’m saying from the perspective of like, the improv guy is like, you have to consider always being the kind of person who is built to listen and accept what someone else is saying. And then be willing to add to it and always be curious. Always be curious. This is like spiritual advice, honestly. Because now I’m also thinking about how like enlightenment is non resistance and like, yes, and is non resistance. Totally. I mean, this is really, really deep, you guys. Heather. Now I have to add that to the list of reasons why to take an improv class. Like, way more, oh my God, no pressure to like deliver on these results in class. My next class is going to be on the top of a mountain. That’s sunset. Yeah, you’re gonna have the best sex of your life. But it does seem like you super enjoy it. I mean, who like who do you think would be someone who like should take an improv class? Okay, I’m going to avoid saying everyone because I know what I think we’ve established really, yeah, but really, it’s like, I think if anyone’s listening to this right now, and from the moment I started talking about people getting on stage and making things up for comedic purposes, and you started to check out and you were like, Hey, I’m still listening because I love Heather, but I’m checking out right now because I would never do that. Really that person that person really well because what they don’t realize fully is that it’s not show up. Be funny. Those people have the like that. Okay, most difficult time in improv. Yeah, that sounds like so much pressure and I feel anxious thinking about it. Yeah, it’s like it’s whatever I’m doing a corporate workshop, I found that a company will bring me in if it’s and team building, I have to lead with that. Because there are people there who were like, already have their jokes ready, they’re like they’re gonna do it no matter what they’re gonna shove it down the other person’s throat. They’re just like, I’m here, I got my ideas and they’re not willing to change. They’re not curious about the other person’s thoughts. Anyway. So like, the people listening to this who are like, who think that improv is not for them, I think they stand to gain the most because once they realize that it’s not about show up, be funny. It’s more about show up, be present, be open minded and be a good listener. You see pretty quickly all the other places in your life where it can have a profound effect, you probably get a fight less with your partner, you probably do the less annoyed when things don’t go your way, probably to be more open to new experiences. And all those things I just said that like applies to like the individual to business and to sex. It’s like all these things. I love it. So what about flirting, I want to help people with flirting, I probably get some guys who are kind of like, I don’t know how to approach somebody, or I don’t want to be creepy. Or, you know, I get friend zoned all the time. And I think of flirtation is almost of like a way of life. Where like, like, I think there’s people who like flirt with intention for like, more of a sexual outcome. But I also think, like there’s people who just flirt with like babies and grandparents is like how I phrase it, you know, it’s like, it’s just how they interact with the world. And I think there’s something really like, alive and like fun, and like light hearted about it. And so I’m curious, like, how improv could like fit in with that, or what what would you tell someone who’s like, I don’t know how to flirt? Yeah, that’s a great question. And I think probably a pretty untapped thing, at least for what I do in my business. Like, I don’t actively market to that necessarily. But if someone were to come to me and say, would this help with that? I would give them a big ol hell yes. Because I would think so. Yeah. Because really improv we are trying to make the other person look good. It sounds like you want them to look good, and you want to support them. Because really, if we’re both doing that, it gets easier. And funnier. And the art form is hard enough as it is. So like, I’m in the business of making it as easy and fun as possible. So I would say, yeah, you in improv, you would learn how to really focus on what the other person is saying how to like, actively listen, people love being heard. And also there’s an improv tricks to that are like that, I think working relationships, like we have this thing, don’t open the box, don’t open the box with this scene is funny, because the box won’t open. Don’t open the box. So the relationship version of this is, is like, like someone’s telling you their problems from telling you they’re about their hard day. Don’t try and fix that problem, be a good listener, and like, let them communicate their feelings don’t try to fix their feelings. You know? Does that make sense? Yeah, it sounds like a lot of this is about like holding space. Yeah. Like allowing someone else to be fully as they are. And accepting that, to me, it’s like, like flirting, like having a good conversation is like playing tennis almost in that I don’t get to decide my next move until you make your next move. In terms of like, conversations. It’s so hard, I think because I know, I mean, I’m just gonna like rap myself out a little bit. It’s like, my brain definitely wants to like, go ahead. And I know, we all have that tendency. I want elbow. I’m curious, like, have you kind of programmed that out of yourself through improv training? Oh, for sure. I mean, not to say that I’m perfect. But like, I can catch myself now. It may have even happened on this conversation at some point. But if it’s like, it’s like, I’m gonna say something, you say something. And then I’m like, Well, I’m still gonna say what I was gonna say when she’s done talking. That’s not really how good communication was. I’m still allowed to make that same point, if it’s relevant, but the conversation may have evolved, and many have changed. And a lot of people who I think have issues with flirting, or maybe don’t have the competence in that, like in that area, they are going to say what they’re gonna say, like they have their map and they’re going to this destination, even though there are road closures and things all along the way. So improv really teaches you to stay presence, right? I’ll go back to the tennis thing, the tennis thing, what I mean is like, I hit the ball over the net. Yeah, I can’t decide anything yet until you hit the ball back over to me, right? I don’t get to run to this side of the court and say, Heather, hit it over here, right? Especially with flirting like like if Megan you are flirting, Heather, if I’m thinking like, I send this text or whatever, and I’m like, when she says this, I’m going to say this, or I need her to say this. And then those things don’t happen, which I would say is statistically likely that you’re not going to say the exact thing I’m looking for. Then like I have a choice, right? I can roll with the punches. I can go with the flow. I can treat this accident or this mistake, like maybe it’s a gift and so they’re like judging them. I’m not going to judge it. Like I’d be like, well, she’s clearly out on me because she said blank like it’s TDD to me actually real We like that idea. My dating coach friend, Evan, who I’m also trying to get on the show, he kind of says, like, assume other people are into you in the way that you’re interacting. And that’s kind of what I’m hearing between the lines of what you’re saying, like, you know, it’s like part of the Yes. And it’s like we’re flowing with it, we’re going with it. We’re not making meaning. We’re not like stopping and analyzing and like psyching yourself out, yeah, it’s just an improv isn’t a conducive use of our time, ie judging every single line of dialogue. So when you get that into your system, like when you build that into who you are, as someone who talks to other people, you really become kind of bulletproof in that way. Because you’re like, I wasn’t expecting you to say a certain thing. I am truly in this moment. Right now, I’m not only talking to you so that I can get something out of you is like a pickup artists thing. It’s more of like, I am like in this moment with you. And there are no mistakes, there are only gifts. So like, that’s hard. That can be really hard for people who have had a lot of bad luck. If you’ve had bad luck hearing what I just said, it may be like, yeah, it’s easy to say it’s like and I totally get that. But I do think that improv is one of those things that like untangles a lot of that bad level, it reminds you of like how pure and productive conversations can be, if you treat them a certain way. Like that. I’m thinking, I’m like thinking of certain clients. You’re saying this stuff. I’m like, I hope they listen to this one. But whatever, like, whatever, like approaching people, like, I think like approaching xiety is for sure a thing. And, you know, there’s kind of like some backlash these days about dating apps and stuff. And so I think, I don’t know, if I’m imagining this. I’m curious, actually, if any listeners want to reach out about this, and let me know, what their experiences. But like, I think there’s maybe some movement back towards meeting people in person. But then I also think especially younger generations who didn’t grow up, you know, who’ve had like devices and screens and whatever. It’s kind of like, do I have the skill set to approach people in person? And like, what does that look like? And how do I not be a creep? And so like, Do you have any advice for that? Yeah, that sounds really difficult to me, I understand that. And I, I feel for people who have the impression and ill equipped to do that, I think all you can do is figure out what works for you. And then explore that and get really used to the idea that it might not go your way, which again, is another improv thing, because in improv, we are unattached to a specific outcome. I’m not going into this scene with Joe who is like one of the most skilled people I perform with I think he’s brilliant. Looney and Joe walk out, I’m not like, oh, certified banger coming up, like, oh, Brian, it’s like, I can’t think that way I have to be like, everything’s different. Or what’s this? What’s this one gonna be? I can rely on us treating each other a certain way, barring any mistakes, because we have that history. But it’s like I am unattached to that outcome. So it’s a it’s a boy girl thing, when it boys want to approach girl and boy has to be unattached to outcomes. And like, of course, this doesn’t like excuse you from any bad behavior, you have to be unattached to an outcome, you can’t be like, no one portation can be a referendum on whether or not you should continue partying with anyone. I tell this to people who are trying stand up all the time, it’s like, go do an open mic, you got to do 10, open mics, the deals done, the deal is done. You’re doing 10 If you just commit to 10 period doing 10. So when the first four are like the worst experiences, you guys speaking in public, it’s like, right, like, if you didn’t mean therapy, now you do. You got to do six more weeks. So I think that kind of mentality might be helpful, but this to where it’s like I agree, the unattached to the outcome. And I would also say like for me what I advise people on, and I think this goes to the not censoring yourself, and the curiosity thing that I’ve kind of become themes of this conversation is like, what is drawing you to this person, and you’re probably naturally curious about something. So just like say that, and then don’t care if it goes poorly. And I mean, they might be attached, like when we’re getting really brave, and like doing this out in the wild. And not just like on dating apps, like you don’t know, they could be married, they could be just like, not into you. They could be with their friends and just really wanting to hang out with their friends. And all of that has like nothing to do with you. But if you just go up and like say hi, or give someone a compliment, or like, you know, like if Chris like, I’m like, Hey, couldn’t help but notice you combing your luscious beard earlier. You know, maybe I would just say that like who is this guy combing? Is his beard at the bar? I don’t know. Yeah, that goes back further to this idea of there are no mistakes. There are only gifts, right? So the improv version of this is like someone messes up, they go air quotes for the listeners. If someone messes up, we have a choice. It’s like, I can judge that moment. I could be upset or irritated because we’re not supposed to do that or whatever. Or it could be like I could acknowledge that maybe our job was a little bit harder than it was before, but we can still do the thing to get so connect, we can weave this mistake and make it into a gift. So going back to flirting and thinking about, you know, you hear their stories about like, oh, person A or approach, person D said something or quotations Person B is partnered up already. But she introduced or he introduced them to their friend is like, Oh my God, that mistake turned into the most beautiful gift. And so if you can have that mentality, which I know is a heavily optimistic mentality, it’s hard for a lot of people, I get it. But if you can work that muscle, like you’re going to the gym, then I think you’d be better off and that’s what improv is. Improv is working that muscle. No, and it’s so hard. So I don’t know if I ever told you this. So I took an improv class, I might have mentioned this in our zoom call after college. And it was not like comedy, per se, it was sort of just like, improv acting. But yeah, I just do remember being up there and kind of just being like afraid to bomb, because you’re like, Oh, my God, the whole class is watching. And I do think as humans, we’re like, a little bit wired to like, avoid humiliation, I think it’s one thing to talk about. But I do think comedians who go on stage, whether it’s stand up, or sketch or whatever, are like some of the most brave people like in the world, because it’s like, all we’re ever really afraid of whatever it is, is our emotions. And so I feel like it’s a real experience of facing your emotions. And I’m assuming in your classes, you provide, like a safe container for that, and like, support people through it. But I remember being up there, and my teacher was gave the feedback, like, you just need to go for it. And I’m like, what if it’s terrible, you know, and I was like, 22 at the time, but like, I think it’s important. Yeah, it’s, it’s tough. But you know, it is undeniable that if you could give yourself over to something like improv, you will, conversations that are difficult for you to have will get easier. Arguing will happen less frequently, because you’ll learn how to defuse tension by with communication, you’re gonna have a lot of funds, you’re going to learn competencies. I mean, all the things start to come into play. And I want to like recruited to do a workshop together. If you guys want us to do a workshop together, let us know. I would love that. I think this material is really cool. And I’m really I’m grateful to be able to talk about it on something like this. Because my whole thing this whole time has been that this shouldn’t be hoarded by a comedy people. That’s how I got here, too. And I still perform like, three, four or five times a week. You know, I’m still in that world. But like, really, the best use of improv skills is real life stuff. And like sex is a massive part of real life stuff. Yeah. Oh, and also we need to bring air sex to St. Petersburg, please. Yes, yeah. Hey, and then because I think you mentioned air sacs does carry on in a couple of festivals, so tell people where they can find that. And then also like, where they can find you if they’re interested. And you know, some training for sure. So air sacs still exists, it doesn’t tore as frequently as it once did. Not to say it won’t ever again, but it used to be like an annual 20 city tour. Fingers crossed everyone. Yeah. COVID affected that a little bit. A lot. But the show still lives on in at the Sturgis Music Festival in South Dakota. It’s called the Buffalo Chip. I do it every day for nine days straight at the Music Festival. It exists every year at the Richmond Virginia Tattoo Convention. That’s in October and there’s a couple other like things that happen here and there every now and then. But yeah, long live their sex Long live fake fucking and real fucking Yeah. Right all the fucking time it was consensual. Okay, so I’m my fingers are crossed that I get to be a judge when it comes to St. Pete. But we’ll keep people posted if it goes anywhere. Because I think it’s super fun. Everyone should see it. And then yeah, where do people find you? If they’re like, I can do some improv training? Like what kind of programs do you offer? And how should they get in touch? Yeah, so Chris true tre W on Instagram is a really great way to reach out and see what I have going on. For anyone listening to this in the future. Maybe in the far future reached out that way, right. I often do improv classes on Zoom comes out that do membership things where it’s like, Hey, join for this and that you can take a class every other day for two months. You know, I offer a variety of programs. I also do a one on one stuff too. So for people who want to go who want to go faster, and have a more of an intimate experience, I work with people one on one and we actually are doing improv together on the call, you basically get fast forwarded through stuff, it’s a lot of fun, and you tell me why you’re doing it and then we customize. I say we it’s me, but like I customize the experience for you. So if someone were to say I’m here because I want to Fort better than we would customize the exercises towards that but you can find more information on the Hell yes creative.com And I like I said I do it for companies too. So Scene building one on one all that stuff. I think that’d be way more fun than like the average corporate tree. Oh my god. Like, I’m just imagining like tree. Yeah, he’s like Sorry, Dave and Busters with all due respect. Yeah, gotta freshen that up. So yeah, well, so we’ll link to all Chris’s websites in the show notes. So you could just scroll down if you’re on Apple podcasts, and they’ll be the links will be right there. But thank you so much for coming on. Chris. This was an awesome conversation. And I think that some people will achieve enlightenment as a result of this. Never know. I’m heading straight to the mountaintop at when we get off this call, right? I’m gonna live there for most of my life. I can’t get any more enlightened than I am right now. Buddha possession under the tree. I like. Cool. Thank you so much. And thank you everyone for listening. And if you have any follow ups or questions for me or Chris, don’t hesitate to reach out. Bye, everybody. Thank you
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